The word is out: I like getting tagged. Raehan (who is back from her hiatus and is posting again, and I couldn't be happier) tagged me for this, and even if I didn't like memes I'd still do it because I admire her so much.
I AM: outgoing and charismatic in front of large groups, but shy in one-on-one interactions. I am a leader, who has learned to step back since becoming a mom. I am devoted to loving my family the best that I can. I am sometimes a slob, although very organized. I am rarely a perfectionist; I am sometimes bossy, but hopefully not condescending. I am learning that the best I can do today is not always the best I can do tomorrow.
I WANT: my daughter to grow up feeling loved by her parents, part of a community that she can contribute to, part of a world that she can make a difference in, part of a faith that is bigger than me.
I WISH: I was better at keeping in touch with people. I think about and pray for people often, but I wish I could shake off my insecurities and call people more often and set up lunch dates, play dates, movie dates.
I HATE: being late to things because I get so frazzled. My family was habitually late to everything, but Jason has helped me plan better for leaving on time.
I MISS: sleeping in and sleeping through the night (I just wake up in the middle of the night even if Sydney doesn't...it's so annoying). I miss going out to movies whenever we feel like it.
I FEAR: over-committing myself to projects-groups-tasks. I want to make sure that I always leave myself enough time and energy to be a good wife and mom. I used to never say "no" to a project, and now I do all the time, even if I would be good at it. It's hard for me to gage when I should stretch myself, and when I should just focus on what I'm already doing.
I WONDER: if I'll ever get my PhD. I'd really love to, but I wonder how I'd possibly find the time. Plus, the University of Oregon is the only local program, and that doesn't excite me at all.
I REGRET: not developing better friendships in college. I regret quitting a job I liked working for a yearbook publications company to take a teaching job I ended up hating (and quit three months later).
I AM NOT: diligent at staying on task, patient with my mistakes, happy with my squishy tummy, good at staying on a budget. I also am not one to lose my temper, hold grudges, make fun of others.
I DANCE: every day with Sydney. We hop down the hall, twirl in the living room, spin in the backyard.
I SING: all the time, sometimes real songs, sometimes made up ones. I sing first soprano, and really ought to sing in the church choir (but that's one of those "fear of over-commitment" things).
I CRY: at all the sappy moments on TV or in movies, but rarely when I read books. "Scrubs" almost always makes me cry. "Grey's Anatomy" too. I also cry when I'm tired, stressed, or late.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: independent, good at debating, patient with unorganized people, diligent to comment on your posts even though I love what you write. I am not always as discontented or worried or insecure as I sometimes portray myself.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: dinner for my family almost every night. I have learned to really enjoy cooking, and could spend a lot of time writing about food except that it's not very exciting.
I WRITE: because I enjoy it. I write better academic papers than creative non-fiction. I write with the hopes that someday I'll get to make a living at it (or teaching it).
I CONFUSE: my husband with moodiness. Heck, I confuse myself with my moodiness.
I NEED: to worry less about what other people think. (I would do well to recite this hourly!)
I SHOULD: exercise more often, eat less sugar, spend less time on the computer, read more books, videotape my daughter doing all these things that make me laugh.
I START: organization projects without always finishing them. I have four file cabinets with drawers dedicated to various projects--one for household miscellaneous, one for graduate work, one for American literature, one for British Literature, one for theatre, one for Sydney's info--and if I could get all the manila folders properly labeled we'd never have another stray piece of paper.
I FINISH: dessert, even though I rarely finish my dinner.
I TAG: anyone who hasn't blogged in the last few days!