(I have received several emails reporting that Typepad isn't letting some of you comment. Sorry about that. I don't know what the issue is, and hope they resolve it soon.)
How did I get so lucky to have friends who write me the nicest things? You do, you know. And I suspect I hardly deserve it too when it seems like every other week I'm writing about being at my wit's end. I'm not sure my mom is even this patient with me. But you guys, really. You keep me sane.
I've been taking deep breaths these last two days, letting the laundry pile up around me (at least it's clean!), getting behind on all sorts of things. Even though parenting an infant has been way easier the second time around, I have to say I was caught off guard by the effects of sleep deprivation. Sure I was tired during pregnancy, but of course it's totally not the same. I may have had trouble getting to sleep, and I may have had trouble staying asleep, but that's a far different (and better) world than having a tiny person scream at me to get out of bed already before I starve from hunger! And even if I pull her into bed with me, I'm not really sleeping that well. For good reason, no matter how tired I am, if I have a baby next to me my brain is only half sleeping. The other half is pulling the midnight guard duty in making sure I don't push my tiny bed partner out of bed. (Yes, and that's why she doesn't get to sleep with me much anymore because it drives me crazy.)
So, bear with me as I try to keep my sanity under control. And, to all my former students, revel in all the fragmented, grammatically incorrect sentences that will surely abound as I attempt to keep writing despite being tired. Of course, I could stop writing, but then I'd have to start paying for therapy and I'd rather spend that money on my favorite topic (the backyard, remember?).
Sleep deprivation isn't the only culprit that's making me emotionally raw these days. My journey through Lent has also been good, albeit difficult. Difficult not because of the chocolate and candy I've given up, but difficult because I've been spending more time reflecting on my priorities and my bad habits. I've come to at least one conclusion: it bet it would be easier to reflect on priorities and bad habits if I could do it alongside a nice lunch of chocolate chips. Heh.
So, that's where I am right now. Tired, uncomfortable, reflective, and going through caffeine withdrawals. Sounds like a great place to be, huh?
Well, at least I have you guys to keep me company.