Counting the grumpies out...
Because of a mix-up in communication, Sydney is staying tonight at Jason's parents' house. She was supposed to come home tonight, but...long story short...she isn't coming home until tomorrow. I'm okay with her being gone one night a week, but two weekends in a row she's been gone for two nights. I couldn't figure out while I was in such a foul mood tonight until Jason said, "You miss Sydney, huh?" That's it. I miss her. And it's made my evening less enjoyable.
I was already emotionally raw anyway because this morning I had to leave Jules for over 3 hours with a friend of mine. I've been dropping Jules off with a babysitter since she was four weeks old so that I could go teach, but that's easier. It's only for two hours/two days a week, and she's only a building away, playing happily in a dorm room while a small mob of college girls ooh and ah over her. If something were to happen, I'm right there. I can cancel class and that's that. Plus, she can go two hours without needing to be nursed.
But today was different. Different because it was longer, and so I had to pump out a bottle for her (which she refused to take). And different because I was driving away from her.
To sit for two hours.
To learn about graduate level linguistics.
Yep, there's not much that's easy about that, on any level.
When I came home from my class I had to meet with a contractor because this room has a leak in the ceiling. We had problems with the ceiling in this room a year after we moved in, and now we're hoping that the warranty for the work the company did is still good five years later. If not, we'll be calling the insurance company.
So with the potential for paying for the roof, as well as momentarily carrying two mortgages (long story), we were a bit stressed tonight when we realized we forgot to figure in the cost of my graduate class. I hate being stressed about money. Hate. it. Yes, I can choose not to be stressed about money, but you know, that'd be way too easy.
Fortunately, this is the last required graduate class we'll have to pay for. Jason finished his classes last summer, and in eight weeks I'll be finished with mine. Even though I have loved working on my master's degree, I will also love being done. When I started it (holy cow, six years ago!) I had no plans that it would take me this long. Figured I'd be done in three years. But then we ran out of money. Oh, and then I had a baby. Small things like that. I put off taking linguistics until the very end hoping that I would be able to get out of it and study something else (like...anything else), but they're sticklers over there and making me finish this degree with all its requirements.
However, for all my freaking-out-this-is-going-to-ruin-my-GPA worries, I actually totally and amazingly enjoyed class today. Despite being preoccupied with wondering if Jules was going to starve while I was gone, I liked what we were talking about. And that's saying something since the last time I took a linguistics class was 10 years ago, and I intentionally forgot everything I learned because I found it so horrid. One key difference between then and now: I love the professor. She's hilarious and passionate about linguistics, which makes the class a million times better than it could be in a different situation. After two hours I was not only willing to pay the $50 for the textbook, but also considering spending even more money on texts that aren't required. She's good.
The trouble with starting a class and having homework is that I won't be able to spend as much time reading Anna Karenina as I'd like. I joined this book club, but heavens to Betsy, I still haven't finished the required reading from three weeks ago. It helped that last week I got the translation Raehan recommended; it doesn't help that I inexplicably can't read novels while I'm nursing. For some reason, I'm drawn to magazine reading when I nurse Julianne. I admit that I have read through all the issues of ESPN (and they come twice a month) since she was born. I also read and re-read through Real Simple. April's issue has a great article about throwing away 50 things. It inspired me, and I'm going to do it.
I'll throw away those 50 things, even if it means waiting until school is out. Which happens to be in 2 weeks! I was rejoicing about the end of the school year, and my students said they found it very comforting that I was looking forward to summer vacation as much as they were. I said, "I'm looking forward to it MORE than you are!" I love teaching, but it's still something that weighs on me mentally. You wouldn't think so, since it's only for a few hours a week, but it doesn't take much for my brain to get tired.
No matter how tired my brain gets, though, I am cognizant enough to thank you for voting for my collage over at the Cozi blog, helping me in my pursuit for a new tshirt (sheesh...the lengths I go to to get new clothes!). I'll find out Monday if I win. *fingers crossed*
I know we're supposed to count our blessings, but sometimes I need to work up to that. Deep breaths. Drink tea. Close my eyes. Count to ten. Look at all the beautiful things around me, as well as consider all the lovely things here in the blogworld. Like how wonderfully nice you were for going over to Sarah's blog and giving her such positive comments on her hard work for the remodel. The nicest thing you can do for someone at their blog is to give them a supportive comment, and you folks did that. I love you people. You've encouraged me, and you've encouraged my family. Truly, on a scale of 1 to 10? You're a 10.