I've been a bit down this week. I suppose some of it is residual sadness from those handful of mean comments I got last week. It's not like it really bothers me or that I think about it all the time, only that it hurt my feelings. That small piece of sadness wandered over to my general state of being and resurfaced each day during particularly chaotic moments. As you probably know, sadness doesn't provide any kind of strength to get through chaotic moments. Instead, it pretty much leaves you in tears.
Adding to all this is the realization that it would be better to put our house up for sale sooner rather than later. We had planned on living here until the end of next school year, but with the housing market like it is--and the importance of selling our house before the construction ends on our new house--I think we've come to the decision that August will find us with a For Sale sign in our yard. This August. One hundred days from now.
I'm not ready for this to be my last spring living in Oregon.
Of course, I'll still be working in Oregon because no matter where we're living I'm teaching all next year, so every Tuesday and Thursday will find me back in town. But all week long I've been thinking about leaving my town, my home, my friends, my church...oh dear, I need to go find a kleenex.
I had this great idea a few days ago to take lots of pictures of the area throughout the next year, and then create an Our Last Year in Oregon photo album. I was going to start in May, but considering that our year may be shortened a bit--though on the upside/downside, it might take forever to sell our house and we'll still have a full year left in Oregon--I figured I needed to get started right away.
We headed downtown today to get some pictures of the cherry trees, although they are definitely past their prime bloom stage. Nevertheless, being outside in a large expanse of grass is actually very good for the soul.
There's lots of room to twirl around, take deep breaths, laugh at the crazy squirrels.
I told Jason I want to get this same kind of flowering cherry tree (it's some particular variety from Japan) and plant it at our new house, so that every time it bloomed I would be reminded of our Oregon home. He thinks that's kind of cheesy.
But I'm pretty sure the Gold Man thinks my idea is brilliant.
I'm not saying my goodbyes yet, mind you. We still have lots of living to do around these parts.
It's just that, gosh, I love this town. And leaving it is going to be really really hard, and that's something that hit me particularly hard this week. Of course, I'm not saying I'm not excited about building our dream house, on property, surrounded by our family. I'm not saying that at all.
However, the truth is even when there's something amazing up ahead, it doesn't diminish how much love you have for where you are and how hard it will be to leave that.
How very hard it will be, indeed.
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