Leaving What We Love

I've been a bit down this week. I suppose some of it is residual sadness from those handful of mean comments I got last week. It's not like it really bothers me or that I think about it all the time, only that it hurt my feelings. That small piece of sadness wandered over to my general state of being and resurfaced each day during particularly chaotic moments. As you probably know, sadness doesn't provide any kind of strength to get through chaotic moments. Instead, it pretty much leaves you in tears.

Adding to all this is the realization that it would be better to put our house up for sale sooner rather than later. We had planned on living here until the end of next school year, but with the housing market like it is--and the importance of selling our house before the construction ends on our new house--I think we've come to the decision that August will find us with a For Sale sign in our yard. This August. One hundred days from now.

I'm not ready for this to be my last spring living in Oregon.

 

Of course, I'll still be working in Oregon because no matter where we're living I'm teaching all next year, so every Tuesday and Thursday will find me back in town. But all week long I've been thinking about leaving my town, my home, my friends, my church...oh dear, I need to go find a kleenex.

I had this great idea a few days ago to take lots of pictures of the area throughout the next year, and then create an Our Last Year in Oregon photo album. I was going to start in May, but considering that our year may be shortened a bit--though on the upside/downside, it might take forever to sell our house and we'll still have a full year left in Oregon--I figured I needed to get started right away.

We headed downtown today to get some pictures of the cherry trees, although they are definitely past their prime bloom stage. Nevertheless, being outside in a large expanse of grass is actually very good for the soul.

There's lots of room to twirl around, take deep breaths, laugh at the crazy squirrels.

I told Jason I want to get this same kind of flowering cherry tree (it's some particular variety from Japan) and plant it at our new house, so that every time it bloomed I would be reminded of our Oregon home. He thinks that's kind of cheesy.

But I'm pretty sure the Gold Man thinks my idea is brilliant.

I'm not saying my goodbyes yet, mind you. We still have lots of living to do around these parts.

It's just that, gosh, I love this town. And leaving it is going to be really really hard, and that's something that hit me particularly hard this week. Of course, I'm not saying I'm not excited about building our dream house, on property, surrounded by our family. I'm not saying that at all.

However, the truth is even when there's something amazing up ahead, it doesn't diminish how much love you have for where you are and how hard it will be to leave that.

How very hard it will be, indeed.

*****

(c) Creature Bug 2008. All rights reserved.

Comments

[Molly]

The pictures are great! I sure understand where you are coming from. Not much to say, other than what you already know. Enjoy each day that is given and trust that God holds the future. He is walking right beside you each and every moment. I can't wait to see pictures of your new home. How exciting for all of you.

[Molly]

I forgot to add, I agree with the other smart moms, you are a fantastic, caring, smart, loving mother. Shame on those ladies that would waste comment space stating otherwise. Hold onto the good Steph, kay? The world needs more moms like you!

[Jen]

I think planting that same variety of cherry tree would be great! We had a similar cherry tree in the house where I grew up, and I have fond memories of climbing it from a young age--cherry trees make good climbing trees because they don't get so tall that their lower branches are not completely out of reach to little arms.

Also, about the tulip festival--the farm has extended their season by an extra week this year because the first few weeks were so cold and rainy. So you have till April 27 to make it out there!

[kristan]

I can only imagine how hard it is for you to leave Salem. We have only been here three years and it is one of the hardest things I have done. There is something very special about Salem. It will always be such a wonderful season in our lives. I only hope I can say that about our Reno adventure. I will be thinking of you this week. Take care.

[Heather]

Great pictures!

Somebody once took a picture of me on the day that I was moving from one apartment to another. On the picture, I'm leaning on the door frame, looking rather sad and pensive. It always reminds me of what it's like to leave a place, even if you know the next move is for the better.

[Katy]

I'm such a dork....I didn't realise what a hurtful week it was for you :( and then this added to it. I am praying right now for you. "May the peace of Christ rule in you richly"....found someplace in the Bible :)
Love you and hugs.

[Margaret]

It's OK to be down--I can't believe that anyone would leave you mean comments though. That stinks! Leaving a place is always hard, especially those memories of living there--both good and bad. Change is difficult for me too.

[Margaret]

Oh, and tell me what you think of Astrid and Veronika. We read it for Book Club several months ago.

[sister]

I know exactly how you feel - despite how often I move, it doesn't ever really get any easier. And like you said, the next thing can be awesome...but I still ok to grieve for what will no longer be, for the end of a chapter (or, in some cases, book). So, I hope you're not too down, but I'm not going to try to cheer you up - just going to say I feel ya, sis, and hope you're enjoying THIS day in our college town. : )

[Sarah]

yes indeed it would be sad to leave home. one idea to always remember that place is to name your next child, salem...that would be awesome!

[ally bean]

I've closed lots of doors to homes in places that I loved, but I have to admit that sad as it can be, it is one of the most freeing things there is. Take the good with you and leave the bad behind.

[Alida]

Mean comments? I find that almost comical. No in a funny haha way, just in a how can that be posiible way. You blog is so beautiful and wonderful to read. Goodness you give stuff AWAY! Besides you are simply a blessing.

Well you will be missed terribly. You must promise to keep in touch and to keep blogging. Also, congratulations. What a wonderful thing to have your home built just for you. Wonderful to raise your kids close to family and in such beautiful surroundings. I think you and your family deserve it.

[Inkling]

I'm a little behind the times . . . but I once left a comment on someone else's blog about a parenting technique meant AS A JOKE, and somebody latched on to it and went ballistic. I really felt attacked--it didn't matter that she was a stranger, the very fact that she could think I would be harmful hurt Come to think of it, I really haven't gotten over that. I am grateful when you are honest about your parenting because the parenting advice/tips/etc. on the internet usually make me feel like I'm gum on the bottom of the parental shoe. Most of it just isn't realistic. And boy, am I going to miss you. Even though we don't see each other half as much as I'd like, just knowing you're nearby is a comfort.