Rocks and Socks and Talks and Walks

I admit I had a moment of panic yesterday when I opened up the envelope, pulled out the test questions, and saw that one of the test questions was not what I had studied for. "Oh crap," I mumbled to myself. I closed my eyes and prayed I would not throw up.

And then I sat, for a good 15 minutes, willing myself to stay there and work it out anyway. Even though I tend to do well on essay exams, I still lean more towards feelings of flight rather than fight. I remembered having the same feeling ten years ago when I took part of my teaching exam, seeing that question about Emily Dickinson and themes of death in her poetry and thinking, "I can't do it." I cried for the first hour of the two-hour exam.

But not yesterday. I would not cry. I would not run away. I would answer the question, even if it didn't have anything to do with everything I had memorized about Aristotle's rhetorical context. And, I told myself, I was going to totally rock that exam question--even if it was pebble-size rocking, rather than boulder-size. A rock is a rock, right?

Anyway, I typed my little heart out, managing to eek out two 1500-word essays that I wasn't ashamed of. The comic Irish lit question I had expected; the developing a teaching unit based on grammar theories wasn't exactly what I had planned on. Nevertheless, by a stroke of Providence, just that morning I had looked over some grammar theories and decided to randomly memorize a few names. Thank you, Lord.

While it's true that I ended up basing the whole writing unit on one theorist whose name I couldn't remember, I think it'll be okay. It's quite possible what I wrote wasn't what they were looking for, but in the end I was pretty tickled with myself and wished that I could actually implement the writing unit I created because it was so totally creative and cool. See, there's that residual adrenaline talking now.

I didn't run away. I sat there and remembered all the things people have said to encourage me. I thought of my professors, my sweet husband, my parents, and I thought, "I can do it."

And 7 hours and 5000 words later, I did.

Now I wait until November 19th to see if I passed. Deep breaths.

Comments

[Tamara Kopp]

I am so, so proud of you - you are an inspiration! Can't wait to see your post on the day your results come in! I know you did wonderful.

[Margaret]

Way to go!! I'm sure it will go well because you are a creative thinker and great problem solver. AND we are thinking very positively. (fingers crossed)

[becca banana]

That's some tough stuff. Good job on getting through it!

[Valerie]

Uh! The wait game! (It's been years since I've taken any exams like that where you have to wait (I think it was weeks for the CBEST, MSAT, and RICA...or did it just feel like weeks?!) I totally feel for you, though.

I'm so glad for you that it's done! I'll be looking back (on my due date!) to see what you have posted about the results!

[Sam]

Hooray! It's done! You have pushed a really big rock up a hill, for sure. I don't envy you the wait, but I know you are confident that you did your best. I hope you feel an enormous sense of accomplishment!

[Rachel]

I am so happy for you that you are done and that you are happy to be done! You are so smart and you have worked so hard, I know you did well!! I hope the wait goes fast!

[goslyn]

Congratulations for finishing, and I am sure you did great! Good luck, and like Rachel, I hope the wait goes by quickly.

[Jeri]

You did it! Yea! I am awaiting the happy "passed" report.

[kristan]

Good JOB girl!!!! What a wonderful feeling for you to be done with that chapter in your life.

[Muley]

Way to hang in there!