I turned 36 today.
I have to admit, 36 feels...old, well, old-ish. It feels a lot closer to 40 than 35 felt, although I am looking forward to turning 40 because Jason and I are going to Hawaii with our friends Robbie and Megan (the boys aren't sure about this; Megan and I are VERY SURE).
When I was 18--thinking about what it meant to be older--doubling my age would have put me squarely in that category. And now...I'm there. I'm twice the age of my students. I'm not old, but I'm definitely older. I am, as my youngest brother tried to advise me, too old to wear tall boots over my jeans because that's a look for young hipster girls. As it turns out, I love tall boots over jeans too much to follow my brother's advice, but since he was sweet enough to send me an Amazon gift card for my birthday all is forgiven.
I'm 4 x 9, and the 9 times table always felt like old numbers to me. 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, 63, 72, 81, 90. Important numbers.
(I relayed my 9 times table feelings to Jason just now, and he said he prefers to think of us as 12 x 3, but the 12 times table doesn't strike me emotionally for reasons that are between 12 and me.)
Thirty-six. Yep. That's me.
On my birthday I'm always reminded about blogging because I pay for my blog every year on this date. So, I ask myself, do I still want to be doing this? I've been doing it for eight years. Kind of a long time. In blog years it's a very long time. But I guess I'll keep doing it. I still got stuff I can talk about.
As for today...it was a lovely day.
I took Jules to her naturopath, who is happy with her progress (so are we) and we won't need to go back for a couple of weeks.
We went to Home Depot where I picked out a new light fixture for the entryway.
I got to sit in my mom's kitchen and visit with my mom and my aunt.
I saw my new niece Waverly, born a week ago today.
Sneak peek at some adorableness:
(Yes, that is my snot-nosed child giggling over a newborn. Goodness gracious.)
I got to squeal in glee at seeing my passport in the mail. Two months from today we will be in Scotland.
I got to find my birthday presents through following hot-and-cold directions from Jules. Going into the playroom...warmer! Going into the office...colder! Looking under the table...warmer...under the easel...hotter! And score. A box of Junior Mints and conversation hearts.
My girls know me all too well.
It was a good day to turn 36. Even when we were eating dinner at Red Robin and Addie was melting down because she hadn't had a nap, and Jules was crying because she had been asked to please not grab ice cubes out of my water glass, and Sydney was loudly practicing phrases she had learned in Spanish class today ("Buenes tardes! Como estas? Asi asi!"), I still felt happy. Happy to be with my family, crying children, loud Spanish greetings, melting ice cream sundae and all.
And that is the upside to turning 36. Because 18 years ago I would not have handled any of those things particularly well. Fifteen years ago, spending the day like I spent it today might not have seemed like a win. I definitely would not have been excited about having the electrician come and install an outdoor electrical socket. That's how I wanted to spend my birthday money? On a electrical socket? Yes. Yes, it is.
Turning 36? Yes, it does feel oldish. But the older I get the happier I am with where I am in life.
Another candle on the cake just means one more wish.
I like it.

