Creature Bug

Love in my heart

This morning I watched my neighbor go outside in the early morning and start up her husband's truck. While it warmed she went around and scraped off the ice on the windshield and other windows. Although I've never her seen her do this before--I always see him doing it--I was curious to watch how it played out. She went back inside the house, and when her husband walked out the door and smiled at his warm, ice-free truck, I smiled too.

That's love, I thought. I know my neighbor well enough to know she was doing something sweet, something romantic. Tomorrow is one of the most lovely days of the year. Sure, Christmas and Thanksgiving are great. But the one that's just sweet and thoughtful and reminds us to celebrate love? Valentine's Day wins. It's why I send out Valentine's Day cards instead of Christmas cards. I'm really not all that romantic, but Valentine's Day isn't just about romance, it's about telling people you love them.

As I watch Jules learn how to give us kisses, and see Sydney's attempts at teaching Jules how to hug, I am reminded that children aren't born knowing how to love.

They are born needy. They are born hungry. They are born crying. They aren't born loving you.

That's my job. To teach my girls how to love. We taught Sydney to say, "I love you," by saying it her to every day over and over. I taught Sydney to give me kisses, to snuggle next to me, to kiss my cheeks with her eyelashes. Now, on her own, she gives me unprompted hugs. She kisses me in the morning when she climbs into bed with me, throws her leg across my stomach, wraps her arms around my neck, tucks her head into my shoulder and whispers, "I love you, Mommy," before going back to sleep. It's one of the best parts of my day.

I love my children, and love teaching them how to love me back.

And I love my husband, who knows how to love me better and more than anyone. I don't have to prompt him to say "I love you." Don't have to ask for kisses. Occasionally have to hint for foot rubs. Still. He's nearly perfect.

Even a month and a half after our trip to Maine, my heart still warms at those memories. The Monday morning we drove from Camden to Logan Int'l Airport in Boston, it snowed and snowed and snowed. The roads were quiet, and Alicia Keyes' new album played in the CD player. I took out my camera, and captured a video of it just so that I could always watch it and remember that moment: my favorite song, with my favorite guy, giving me a smile as we drove away from one of the best weekends of my life.

(video 1:32)

I doubt anyone else will find the video as perfect as I do, shaky footage and all. On the surface it just looks like a trip down a snowy road, with music in the background. But to me, I watch it and smile because it looks and sounds like love might look. Yes. Just exactly like that.

Have a lovely Valentine's Day.

*****

(c) 2008 Creature Bug. All rights reserved.

32 Things I Love About You

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, who gets to be a year older than me for nine whole days. To celebrate him turning 32, here are 32 things I love most about him.

1. He gives me a hug, a kiss, and tells me he loves me every single day.
2. He reads bedtime stories to Sydney every night.
3. His playfulness when he wrestles with the girls.
4. That he cuts his own hair
5. He always notices when I've cleaned the house.
6. Our mutual ability to recite Seinfeld lines to each other with perfect intonation: "The sea was angry that day, my friends." "I'm DRIVING the bus!" "We had a deal!"
7. The way he dances
8. He loves to exercise and is persistent about asking me to exercise too.
9. He always compliments me on dinner and says "thank you" even if all I did was put a pizza in the oven.
10. Cereal, also, is a perfectly good dinner to him.
11. He will watch "Grey's Anatomy" with me, even though I think he (not so) secretly hates it.
12. He has given up watching "CSI" just because I couldn't handle watching it anymore.
13. He doesn't complain that I refuse to get cable tv (even though we wouldn't have to pay for it).
14. He reads books.
15. I know he's a really great teacher.
16. He's way smart.
17. He is loyal to his friends.
18. Our secret code to tell each other "I love you"
19. That I can lean over to him in church and he instinctively knows to turn his watch towards me so I can see what time it is.
20. His freaky ability to sing cartoon/commercial/old tv show jingles, word for word. Seriously. It's some sort of gift.
21. He has limitless patience with me.
22. The amount of time and effort he is putting into our backyard
23. He's a great gift giver (diamond earrings one year for Christmas, trip to Maine this year).
24. We can play cribbage together, and even when I beat him, he will still play another round.
25. He will do laundry, vacuum, straighten-up, and cook without being asked.
26. His commitment to Tuesday nights: dinner, Dutch Brothers Coffee, story time at the library
27. We promised never to go to bed angry, and have stuck by that promise all our marriage except one night when we had a stupid argument over the dog.
28. The way he looks at me when we hear the theme song to "Antique Roadshow"
29. His passion to be a man dedicated to serving God.
30. His love of good smelling candles, and a willingness to spend a small sum of cash on peppermint candles because that's our favorite
31. When I told him I was afraid of having another baby for fear he'd be disappointed if we didn't have a boy, he said, "I'd never be disappointed. I love my girls."
32. He lets me put my freezing cold feet on the back of his legs when I crawl into bed at night.

Happy Birthday, Iokona.  {* * *}

Love, Me

A Love Project

Leslie got it right in her last comment: I am still on a vacation high. Even through a stuffed up nose, through Jules working on a molar and feeling rather needy since my return, through cold and rainy weather--I am still feeling the love from our weekend back east. At any rate, it's far more interesting to write about that than what I did today, which was watch Sound of Music with Syd and then sing that Cuckoo song for the rest of the day. Don't get me wrong; there's a certain charm to Sound of Music. I'm a big Julie Andrews fan, but I don't know if I could write very much about her. Maybe I could.

Rather than find out, I have one more batch of photos to show you from Camden.

 

If you go to Camden you really ought to stay in a Bed & Breakfast. Sure, there are hotels around (even nice charming ones right in the center of the village), but Camden is full of wonderful B&Bs that treat you to delicious breakfasts, fabulous conversations, and romantic quarters. Both times we've visited Camden, we've stayed at the Windward House, and I know when we go back we'll stay there again.

It's quite a story how we ended up at the Windward House the first time around. I had originally made reservations at the Blue Harbor House, who I found through a Maine Visitor's Guide. The week before our wedding, I called the innkeepers to confirm our reservations. Not sure why I felt compelled to confirm, it just seemed like the thing to do. Probably had it on my Wedding To Do checklist.

Imagine my complete shock when the innkeeper told me, "We have you staying here this weekend."

"This weekend?" My heart sank. "But I don't get married until next weekend."

"So you wouldn't be able to move up your stay?" Not likely.

They were full the weekend of the wedding, and since it was high travel season in Maine, chances were good that every place would be full. I started sobbing on the phone, and the poor lady felt awfully terrible about it all. I couldn't even continue the conversation, so I just hung up and sobbed out the whole story to my mom. It was a week before my wedding, and the honeymoon that I had been planning for months had suddenly fallen apart. If you've ever been around a bride-to-be, you know that this was quite the hysterical moment in our house.

Fortunately, my mom kept her cool and called the Blue Harbor House back. Could they see if any place had any openings? Well, by golly, they had called around, and the Windward House had just had a cancellation in their nicest room and would love to have us. The Windward House innkeeper (at the time) called me personally to assure me that everything would be taken care of. I could have married him right then. Except, you know, not really.

 

So the Windward House saved the day back in 1997, and it saved the day again in 2007 when we were searching for a place to vacation. The innkeepers have changed, but we are just totally smitten with the new owners. Jesse and Kristi are the nicest folks, and have young children themselves so we totally connected with them about eating out, visiting the library, and vacationing. Plus, they were fabulous conversationalists about all sorts of other things too. We hope they stay there for several more years, so we can visit them again.

Loved loved loved the room we stayed in: the Windrose Suite.

Jason had ordered the chocolate covered strawberries (*swoon*), but the chocolate truffles and champagne were an anniversary gift from Jesse and Kristi. I had consumed half the strawberries before euphorically wandering out of the sitting room into the bedroom.

The most comfortable bed I have slept on in my entire life. Worth flying to Maine just to sleep in this bed. Trust me.

No vacation is complete without a soaking tub, which I have promised myself to own one day in our new house. We stayed two nights at the Windward House. I took three baths. And finished two books. And slept in until 9 am. And sat by the fireplace. And ate chocolate. And homemade cookies. And then sat by the fire some more.

 

And when we weren't doing any of those things, we walked down the street to the village where we shopped, and ate seafood, and browsed the stores, and watched the water, and visited the library where I sat in a big beanbag chair in the children's section and read Parenting magazine.

As if that wasn't enough--and it was--we woke up the day we were driving back to Boston for our afternoon flight out to seven inches of new snow. It was everything a dream vacation should be. (Of course, we had a moment of worry about the snow until we saw all the snowplows out clearing the roads. Fabulous New Englanders and their snow preparedness.)

The one final twist to our vacation that was an extra bit of fun was getting to participate in A Love Project. A young couple created this project, traveling all over the country leaving boxes in certain rooms at B&Bs (you should check out their story...quite interesting). The only instructions are to leave a love note in the box, which will be collected at the end of this year and then the love notes are going to be published in a book. Funny thing is, Jason had planned to reserve the same room we had stayed in for our honeymoon, and when he told me about the trip it was available. Then when he went to make reservations, it was booked, so we got a different room--the room participating in the Love Project. Perfect.

We're already talking about going back next December. I suppose there's a good argument for trying out a new destination, but there's just something about Camden that brings out the best in us. It's a special place, and even though there are a dozen B&Bs in Camden, we'll go back to the Windward House. For Jesse and Kristi. For the homemade cookies. For the bathtub and fireplace. For the place that saved the day.

 

Week 188: The Little Vacation that Could

It was around our 9th wedding anniversary that we started talking about what we would do for our 10th anniversary. We should go somewhere, we agreed. Anywhere. Well, not just anywhere. Somewhere not local. No states beginning with "O" or "W." Sure, that might sound unfair to all the travel possibilities to Oklahoma or Wyoming, but that's how it goes sometimes.

Since Jules was only going to be six months old on our actual 10th wedding anniversary then we decided that Christmas break would be a better time to travel--she'd be a year old and that's when I'd planned on finishing  nursing her. We'd have time off from school, and no doubt ready for a night away from the kids, if for no other reason than we could sleep in the following morning. You know you're a parent of young children when sleeping in is the highlight of any vacation.

For eleven months--from July 2006 to June 2007--we dreamed of where we would go for our anniversary trip. We were pretty sure we were going to go to the Bahamas, not only to vacation but also to go to the wedding of a former student. We had the tickets all priced out and had our hearts set on it. I even was looking forward to getting a new swimsuit. All our spare change and cash we stashed away in a little box marked "Vacation Fund."

Then July came and with it the financial crisis of paying two mortgages. We had a house on the market, and the market wasn't looking good. The renters who had skipped out on paying their last month's rent, had left us in a bit of a pinch, but still we maintained the dream of going on an anniversary trip. Certainly the day of our actual anniversary was markedly unspectacular. Jason had to work that whole week at his dad's coffee shop, and we had trouble getting someone to watch the girls so we could go out that night. In the end, the only thing we did was go see the new Harry Potter movie. No dinner. No dessert. I think Jason may have even stayed the night up in Washington while I drove back home with the girls. Romantic it was not.

Then July rolled into August, and August into September. I hinted to Jason that we might need to use our anniversary money to keep going, but he was bound and determined that we save the fund. Nevertheless, one morning before the house payment was due I reached into the box marked Vacation Fund and pulled out $1200. I drove to the bank and deposited it.

I cried the rest of the day.

Eventually we sold the other house, but it was too late to save our dream trip to the Bahamas. I set my sights on an anniversary trip less grand, even telling Jason I would settle for just one night at the beach. But the change in plans was greatly disappointing for Jason, and he confessed that he might not want to go anywhere. I'll be honest and confess that when he said that, I initially thought I'd just drive somewhere by myself, so strong was my desire to just get away.

December came, and I settled in on the notion of having a quiet uneventful Christmas vacation. We didn't talk anymore about going anywhere. Even though we had done some refinancing with the house in order to make it possible to travel, I just figured that the moment had passed, and I was going to be okay with that.

The week before Christmas, we were all hanging out in the kitchen. I was sitting at the dining room table, listening to the girls chatter and Jason said, "Do you want to know one of your Christmas presents?"

Of course I did.

It was better than anything we could have planned 18 months ago. After ten (and a half) years of marriage, we figured out that there are some things in life that you can't afford not to do. Like spending a weekend strolling down the streets that you walked together as newlyweds.

True, I didn't get the vacation I dreamed about.

I got something even better.

The magic of eggnog

It should have been a rough day. It should have been a very rough day.

It started out with me getting to sleep at 1 AM after tossing and turning for 2 hours. It continued on with Sydney waking in the middle of the night with a bad cold. "My ears hurt," she cried. "I have a runny nose." She kept us up starting at about 3 AM, and after Jason got up to go to work at 5, Sydney and I managed to sleep for a few more hours.

When the hacking coughs finally woke her up, she was melancholy and clingy. Had to cancel my morning get-together with my group of friends. More exhausted weeping from Syd, which resulted in an early nap for her and a long hot shower for me.

I should have been exhausted. I should have been frazzled. I should have thought that taking Sydney to class with me was a bad idea.

But I wasn't, I didn't, and will wonders never cease, I got through the day without shedding a single tear.

Sydney, runny nose and all, amused my students to no end. I don't think they'll remember much about ethos, pathos, and logos, but I bet they'll remember that drawing she did on the white board which she announced was "a house." My students may not have remembered to take notes about persuasive speaking, but they did remember to say hi to Sydney and give her high-fives.

I should have been stressed out about an annual Thanksgiving gathering with friends that we went to tonight. My hair was unspectacular, my outfit un-fantastic, my daughter unwilling to play with the other kids upstairs--it all could have been the end of me. But it wasn't. Who cared about the hair? Or the clothes? Or the child who only wanted to eat ice cream? Instead we ate too much, told too many pregnancy stories, laughed too much at our memories as we played "name that tune," and clapped at the crowd of little girls dancing and spinning and giggling in the living room to the tunes of Elvis and Snoop Dog and Vanilla Ice.

It should have been a rough day.

But it wasn't.

And I don't know why it wasn't, except that it just wasn't. Instead of focusing on what was going wrong, I enjoyed the change the pace. I enjoyed walking to class with Sydney's hand in mine. Enjoyed the distractions as I taught. Enjoyed the hot chocolate she and I shared between classes. Enjoyed the hug from my husband, the time with my friends, the hour of TV watching "House." It wasn't a rough day. It was, runny nose and all, almost perfect.

Yesterday, when everything went right, I got it wrong.

Today, when everything went wrong, I got it right.

Maybe it was because it wasn't raining when I woke up this morning. Or maybe it was because of that eggnog I drank yesterday. Or maybe it was because somewhere, someone prayed for me. And if that was you...thanks. Today, I needed it.