Creature Bug

Stamps, Tiny Reads, TVs, and Energetic Cranberries

A few random items...

: stamps :

Postage stamps are going up in price on Monday, so you should do as I did and stock up on those terribly un-pretty Forever Stamps (seriously. would it kill them to put a flower on the Forever Stamps? the Liberty Bell is so not great). If you get them now, they're *only* 41 cents a piece. Starting Monday, they'll cost you 42 cents. Consider this your friendly PSA reminder.

: tiny reads :

I've added a new link feature to my left sidebar. Under the Tiny Reads heading, I've "shared" different blog posts from my Google Reader that have caught my attention, for one reason or another. I'll be updating it daily.

: tv :

We are now the proud owners of two TV converter boxes. In case you haven't heard, if you are one of the few dozen people who doesn't have cable and instead uses an antenna/rabbit ears to get your tv signal, then you'll have to get a converter box so that you can still get free tv after the signal changes to digital next February. We received converter coupons in the mail a few weeks ago--thanks to a reminder from Sophie (who, sadly, is no longer posting)--and each coupon is worth $40 off a converter box. Walmart sells the boxes for $49.95, but the south Commercial store was out when I checked last week. Fred Meyer sells the boxes for $49.98, and so I got ours there. Twenty dollars for the privilege of free tv. Yippee.

As it turns out, we may not even need the converter boxes if we sell our house before next February. Our new house will probably have to have cable, although I am totally willing to have an antenna on our house if it means we'll get free tv.

: cranberries :

And finally, here's a review for a drink I've been trying out this week...

Last week I got a sample of Ocean Spray's Cranergy juice in the mail, courtesy of Mom Central. Being someone who loves cranberry juice, I quickly drank the whole thing. It tastes a lot like...hmm...cranberry juice! With a healthy, green tea kick. Then I went to Winco and got some more. Then I went to Fred Meyer, saw they were having a sale on jugs instead of the more expensive personal-sized, and got even more. This could be trouble.

Even though I am perpetually tired all the time, I stay away from those energy drinks because I'm deathly afraid of them. I am certain I would drink one and drop dead from a heart attack within minutes. As someone who has no caffeine addiction at all, consuming that much caffeine in one sitting would totally screw me up. However, I am acutely aware that some amount of caffeine--preferrably something natural from a tea source--might actually help me feel better. Or at least, feel capable of folding laundry. So, after reading the label for the Cranergy juice, it evidently gets its caffeine naturally from green tea. And it has a whole host of B vitamins, which I think are supposed to give you energy.

Since it's juice-ish (23% juice isn't exactly Juicy Juice), since it has vitamins, and since green tea extract is a natural source of caffeine, then I've been drinking it every day with breakfast. It does have Splenda, although the juice doesn't taste crazy-sweet like some things do that have been sweetened with Splenda. Even Jason, who hates cranberry juice, has said it's not too bad (especially the cranberry-raspberry version), although if he starts drinking it then that means less for me, so...I don't know how I feel about that.

The thing is, I actually feel more energized after drinking it, but maybe it's just a pyschological trick I'm playing on myself. I feel like it should energized me, so then it does. But trick or not, I'm all for it. Probably someone who depends on energy drinks and/or multiple cups of coffee wouldn't notice a difference. Nevertheless, for me it's definitely better than drinking soda, it has cranberries in it, and even though I wouldn't let my girls drink it (no caffeine for them,natural or not, thank you. they have plenty of energy), I'm all for something that helps me stay just a little more focused on something other than dreaming of a nap.

Jason thinks I should exercise more often, but for as much as I do like to exercise, so often I'm too tired to even think about doing it. Anybody have any other suggestions for fighting fatigue? B vitamins? Multi-vitamins? Iron supplements? Less sugar? More sugar?

Please say "eat five dozen marshmallows" because I could totally do that.

(c) Creature Bug 2008. All rights reserved.

To See the Game

I still have the rest of the story to tell about the girls and their nighttime miseries (or rather, maybe it's my nighttime miseries? and they're not that miserable? either way...), but when I sat down to write about it I got all grumpy and fussy and decided I didn't want to write about it right then.

So.

It'll wait.

Until then--and maybe the girls will miraculously fix their sleeping issues while I avoid writing about it--I'm writing about something else.

Did I mention that Sydney got bifocals? The ones that I had been thinking maybe she didn't need? The ones that cost $200 because we already got her a new pair last summer and so our vision insurance (which I am thankful we have in the first place) didn't cover a new pair?

Ah, well, she did. In fact, you've already seen her with them.

If you look closely, you can see the bifocal line on the lens. And actually, these are the first pair she got. The pair that were supposed to be purple, but whoever decided to label these glasses "purple" clearly wasn't familiar with a toddler's perception of purple. These weren't purple; they were indigo. And indigo to a 3 year-old looks like black. So she hated them and refused to wear them, and is only wearing them in this picture because I bribed her with candy.

Then we took them back and got red ones. Which Syd still isn't fond of, but only because they're bifocals and make the world all funky looking.

"There are steps all over! I walk to the step, but it moves!" and she stumbles around for a few minutes until she gets her bearings and then forgets she has them on until she sees her other non-bifocal pair and demands to wear those instead.

We've set up a deal with Syd about wearing her bifocals: she has to wear them when she's reading, and she has to wear them when we're playing games. I wish she'd wear them when we're eating (because that's a close-range activity so her left eye crosses inward), but no deal.

The upside is that she's at least wearing them sometimes; the downside is that I have no excuse to not play games with her.

We play Memory with her Dora cards, and I regularly lose because I have about five million things I have to remember, let alone remember where the card is with Dora wearing a backpack.

We play some other nifty games that she received as gifts.

And lately, we've been playing Rapelli, from the Discovery Store.

All the parts are constructed with bamboo, so it's eco-friendly. (Bamboo is cool! Jason and I were even thinking of getting bamboo flooring in the new house except I don't think it comes in wide planks, which we want.) It's constructed well enough that if Jules happens to grab a piece we don't have to worry about her breaking it (although, the parts are small enough that little babies shouldn't be playing with it). When Parent Bloggers Network was looking for reviewers, I immediately thought of Sydney and working with her close-vision skills. This seemed like a great game to have her practice getting small parts into small holes, and it seemed engaging enough that she would consider it worth playing even if she had to wear her bifocals.

Well, folks. We have a winner.

Sydney plays this game almost every day, and she'll even play around with it even when we're not playing the game with her. The object of the game is to pull the little bamboo caterpillars out of the "tree." You go about doing that by rolling the dice and seeing how many links you can pull the caterpillar out (or, conversely, have to push the caterpillar back in, an aspect of the game we don't follow). The official rules are a bit vague on some of the details of playing the game, but that didn't bother us since we just make up our own rules to fit what we're doing and Sydney's age. For instance, I think maybe you're supposed to collect a certain color to win? And perhaps can use strategy to keep others from getting their caterpillars out? Obviously, though, we're not working on strategy. We're just trying to get as many of those little caterpillars out as we can.

Playing it the way we do, there is no strategy at all involved. It's all just random luck based on the dice. But that's okay because then when Sydney wins we don't have to feel badly that we were just crushed in a caterpillar game by a 3-year-old.

It's also a great game to help Sydney work on vision exercises. She has to look at small parts, manipulate smallish pieces, and coordinate all those things together. She never feels like it's a chore to play the game (and since the game only take about 15-minutes to play, it doesn't feel like a chore to us either), and right now that's key to getting her transitioned into wearing her bifocals more often.

And really, even though I rarely enjoy playing dice games (is it me, or do dice games take forever to play?!), I think this one is a great fit for Sydney and what we're working on, and that makes it worth it for me.

The game is available at the Discovery Store for $29.95, and considering the excellent construction of the game, the environmental friendliness of the parts, and the overall engaging aspects for kids, I'd say that's a reasonable price. More reviews of this game can be found here.

(c) Creature Bug 2008. All rights reserved.

Saving the Littlest Bums

Alrighty now, I still want to give away these two jars of Diaper Goop.

So...let's try this again, shall we?

Leave a comment indicating you're interested in trying out Diaper Goop, and I'll choose two random winners on Wednesday, April 9th. In the contest already are the previous comments from Margaret, Amy, Rachel, and Jen so you four are already entered.

The following post (linked below) is from Thursday, which I had removed because of all the negative energy it was bringing to my blog and also my computer. I have clarified some particular elements of the previous posting because clearly the way I wrote it before was giving people--people who don't actually know me or my blog, but people nonetheless--the wrong impression of life in the Creature Bug household. I will chalk up the whole experience of...whatever that was...as a small bump on the road of an otherwise wonderful blogging journey.

*****

Week 195: In the blink of an eye

Every six months, Sydney and I take a drive up to Portland to see our dear ophthalmologist Dr. Landon for an eye appointment. That first appointment was kind of traumatic for us, just in learning that Sydney needed glasses, that she was far-sighted, that her eye crossing inward wasn't a temporary phase. Since then, however, Sydney wearing glasses has become pretty normal for us. Each time we have an appointment, we go in with fewer fears and worries. Sydney wears glasses. No big deal.

Although for as much as it's "no big deal," it has certainly had no small effect on her personality. We're pretty sure that she was born with poor vision, which explains a lot of the kinds of personality quirks she had as a baby. She always cried if we were very far away from her...probably because she couldn't see us. She never wandered away from us in public places...probably because she didn't know where to go. She rarely smiled at strangers...probably because she couldn't recognize the expressions on their face. I'm sure plenty of kids are like this--even with perfectly good vision--but it makes sense why she was like this, considering.

Although she is a typical kid at home--silly, energetic, smiling, ready to laugh at anything--out in public she can be very shy, reserved, even sullen at times. I'm guessing those first twenty months of not being able to see very well are responsible for this. I used to worry about this because sullenness is, well, not endearing. She's gotten better though, through a lot of role playing and coaching at home.

"What do you say if someone says you have pretty hair?" (the comment she receives the most)

"Thank you."

"And why do you say thank you?"

"Because it's polite." Yes, indeed, good manners matter.

Even at random intervals during the day I'll say, "What pretty hair you have, little girl." To which she smiles and says, "Thank you, Momma." Nevermind that we might be creating pint-sized vanity; she has to learn to be polite.

On the upside, having glasses has given her opportunities to develop positive character traits. She's learned responsibility through taking care of her glasses. She's learned to be careful, knowing not to put her glasses away with the lenses down, or to call for help if someone (including her sister) grabs for her glasses (which resulted in the only time I have publicly scolded a kid in Spanish for taking Sydney's glasses). She's very detailed oriented with a keen eye for puzzles, a trait she's learned from having to memorize where things are when she doesn't have her glasses on to see.

I have to keep all these positive things in mind as I process the newest development in Sydney's vision. Last Sunday, I had planned to write about how we've adjusted so well since the initial diagnosis. I remember reading through the first post and thinking, "Wow. We don't even worry anymore about Sydney's eyes." I recalled with understanding Gretchen's comment about how glasses are just part of who her son is. I didn't think I'd ever get to that point, but I did. I am. Sydney wear glasses, and for the most part the only thing we worry about is Jules breaking them (again) or when we'll be able to teach Sydney to clean her glasses without our aid.

Then I heard Dr. Landon say, "Since her eyes are still crossing, then I think she should wear bifocals." She went on to explain how this would work, and I nodded and kept my face free from emotion. "Of course," I said when she was done. "We'll get the prescription filled this week." I haven't filled it yet.

Truthfully, I'm doubting myself a little, knowing that Dr. Landon made the prescription based on my comment that Sydney's eyes still cross when she's looking at something up close. It's a true observation, but maybe I've overreacted.

I don't know why I'm feeling the way I am. In a matter of seconds, I went from patting myself on the back for my fabulous adjustment, to wishing that Jason was there to hold my hand on the drive back from Portland. Jess's comment last week helped me realize that bifocals aren't the end of the world; Sarah's comment has me considering getting a second opinion, which I had been thinking about anyway. Both comments helped me take a deep breath and clear my head a little.

So, here, a week later, I'm feeling a little less bravado. And here, a week later, I'm feeling a little less worried.

Welcome to this marvelous world we call parenting.

*****

(c) 2008 Creature Bug. All rights reserved.

Week 194: Busy not blogging

I have undertaken the monumental task of putting our pictures in photo albums. This has been a resolution of mine for, oh, the last four years. I have albums completed up until Sydney was born, or rather just before she was born. Just now I'm getting around to dealing with the folders and folders of photos that I have saved on my hard drive (and an external for back-up). It's quite handy that my pictures are so marvelously organized by month as it makes this whole project much easier.

I have to say that I'm really getting a great deal of satisfaction out of choosing pictures and then designing the layout for the page. It brings back grand and glorious memories of the days I used to teach yearbook. My mind is a running monologue of words like white space, eye lines, and thematic design elements. I have dedicated a certain number of pages to each month, and the page that introduces the next month is a consistent design throughout the album. Instead of using traditional albums, I've decided just to go the route of using My Publisher. Yes, it's more expensive than just printing the pictures at Costco and putting them in an album. No, I don't care. I can swing $35 for a 100-page album. (Note to my dad: you should totally be doing this! REALLY. It's a matter of family urgency that you get the photos in order since we'll never be able to figure out your organizational system to do it ourselves.)

(Here's a spread from the Christmas pages, and yes, I broke the eyeline on this spread and have come to terms with it. Turns out it's very tricky to keep eyelines in My Publisher. No big deal.)

The plan is to do two albums per year, one for the first six months and one for the last six months. The plan was also to complete a month a day (beginning with last July and then working forward), and I started this whole photo project last Friday. Tomorrow I finish book one. Right on schedule.

 

Unfortunately, I've gone from "I'll get around to organizing the photos sometime," to "I'm organizing the photos now! At this moment! Get out of the way!" That's good for keeping momentum going, not so good when I should have mailed out Valentine's cards last Saturday and will instead be mailing them out tomorrow. I feel awful about my tardy cards, but nothing I can do about it now. Except do better next year.

*****

I gave up daytime blogging and websurfing for Lent (which is to say, no Internet stuff except email while the girls are awake). I don't miss the websurfing. It was time for a change because over the last few months I  found myself just migrating towards the computer to check on this, check on that, and before I knew it, an hour later I'm reading the court transcripts from Britney's child-custody case while my girls pull on my arms begging me to come play with them. Bleh.

So, after some soul searching, it seemed like I needed to back off a little. I just didn't need to be on the web that much. I didn't. I don't. I get frazzled that I've wasted my time, frustrated that things that should get done aren't getting done, and impatient with my sweet little girls who need me way more than anyone needs my comment on their latest post. Hard to believe, but it's true.

It's oddly freeing, keeping away from reading news on the Internet. However, it's been a lot harder to keep away from blogging, whether reading, writing, or commenting. It had become so much a part of my daily life that stepping away--even if just for a few hours--was really hard. It was a habit that needed to change though. My advance apologies if you post some critical news and I'm not johnny-on-the-spot to comment. I think about you though. Honestly.

And speaking of Lent, if you're looking for a book that doesn't dwell too much on the denominational aspect of Lent and instead focuses on the spiritual journey, I am thoroughly enjoing the book I'm using as a daily devotional, Small Surrenders. Very thought provoking. Highly recommend it.

*****

Sydney had a dentist appointment today, and I've figured out the way to make her look forward to that is to schedule an eye appointment the day before. As she said today, "Dentists are fun. Eye doctors are not fun. That new toothbrush is very funny!"

The dentist appointment went splendidly. The eye appointment still has me blinking slowly, warming up to the idea that Sydney needs bifocals. Already her prescription is +6.00 in her right eye and +6.5 in her left eye; the bifocals add another +3 to the bottom half of her glasses. I didn't think it would bother me that her eyesight is unchanged and in some cases worse, but it does. I started to write about it last night, but it was too emotional for me. I'm not as brave as Sydney is.

*****

I baked eight dozen cookies to take to my students today as an early Valentine's gift. Even though I have class on Thursday--which would be a more appropriate time to give them cookies--several of the students will be gone on account of baseball and softball games. I thought they deserved cookies too, so I stayed up until 11 o'clock last night finishing off the last batch.

I'm pretty sure the only thing they'll remember about today's class is that they got cookies.

I'm okay with that.

*****

I'm so glad you all approve of Trader Joe's. Which isn't to say that I'm searching for approval, except that sometimes I am. Also, I should note that Corvallis DOESN'T have a Trader Joes (thanks, Jen, for pointing that out). Eugene has one. Now I know what I'll be doing while Jason is running the Eugene Marathon in May.

(c) 2008 Creature Bug. All rights reserved.

A Cleaner Alternative

If you are a parent of young children, you probably received that email that circulated several months ago about Purell hand sanitizer. Turns out, while the alcohol in hand sanitizers kill germs, it also poses a serious threat to young children who can get alcohol poisoning if they put their hands in their mouth after using Purell or another like-formulated hand sanitizer.

After the Purell warning, I put the Purell out of reach of my kids (even though at the time Sydney was old enough to know not to put her hands in her mouth, and Jules was too young to reach the Purell), and eventually got rid of the Purell altogether. I had seen an alcohol-free hand sanitizer reviewed on PBN, but it wasn't available in stores and I wasn't up to buying it online. Every time I went to the doctor's office, I searched the pharmacy for an alcohol-free, all-natural hand sanitizer, but to no avail. I couldn't find it anywhere.

With germ season upon us (as I hear both girls coughing in their rooms), I was determined to find a better all-natural product that I could use to clean the girls' hands. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to search very hard because I got lucky enough to review CleanWell, the product that Parent Bloggers Network bloggers reviewed earlier for hand-sanitizer, only now there's a new product: foaming antibacterial hand soap.

While there has been some concern over the chemicals used in antibacterial hand soap--namely, whether they are really safe, and whether or not they promote resistant strains of bacteria--CleanWell's foaming hand wash is the first all-natural Triclosan-free hand soap to kill nearly all those pesky germs. Of course, because it is "foaming" hand wash, then it includes sodium lauryl sulfate which is an irritant for sensitive skin, especially skin prone to eczema (information I learned thanks to nanny Rebekah who was a fountain of information concerning harmful products!).

But the reason for sodium lauryl sulfate is that it helps deliver suds to the skin, helping to clean it faster, which is good since most people (especially kids) don't wash their hands for the recommended round of singing your ABCs. To combat skin from drying out from the sodium lauryl sulfate, CleanWell includes skin conditioners like aloe and white tea. My skin still felt pretty dry after using the soap, but that's probably because between changing diapers and feeding kids I'm washing my hands all the time. Most importantly, however, CleanWell's product is triclosan-free, a chemical commonly found in deodorants and other soaps and appears to be a very unfriendly chemical.

I got to try out all three of CleanWell's foaming hand soaps: orange vanilla, ginger bergamot, lavender absolute. While fragrances are often a no-no when it comes to being all-natural (especially since the FDA doesn't require companies to list what chemicals they use in fragrances), CleanWell goes above and beyond by not only listing their fragrance oils, but using natural ones.

The bottles come with removable labels, which I was initially skeptical about thinking that once you removed the labels then you wouldn't be able to consult the drug facts list. But clever CleanWell: I pulled the labels off and there was still a small box that included the soap's ingredients. Quite handy.

My favorite scent was the orange vanilla, which happens to be the only scent that our local Target currently carries. I was over at the Center Street Target yesterday, and was curious to see what the soap is priced at. I found it (aisle A35), and the foaming hand soap is $4.49, and the hand-sanitizer (which I'm thrilled to be using now as a safer alternative to Purell) was $6.99 for a 6 oz. bottle.

It's hard to know what's safe to use these day, and what isn't. Fortunately, CleanWell seems to be making good strides toward creating a product that is healthier for me and my kids. I think the fewer chemicals that are in our daily products, the better. It follows along with one of my words of the year--gentleness. Looks like I've found a soap that's gentle for us, and gentle for the environment.

PS: If you're interested in researching more of what ingredients your soaps and makeup contain, consider checking out Skin Deep Cosmetic Safety Database. According to Skin Deep, CleanWell has signed the Compact for Safe Cosmetics. Cool.

One flu over the cuckoo's nest

It was bad enough that Jason had the flu.

But then Sydney got it.

And then Jules got it last night. Boy did she ever get. She got it all over me, many times. Even though I had my mind determined not to get the flu, even though I mentally said, "No flu! I'm stronger than this bug! My tummy is no place for a little bug. Go away! GO AWAY!" and then I drank some hot water and ate some carrots just to prove that I was healthy...I still got the flu. Maybe it was cleaning up all those germs (I washed my hands a million times, but I think it must have been airborne). Maybe I shouldn't have eaten those chocolate chips for lunch. That was probably the invitation that the flu bug was waiting for (because who can pass up chocolate?). Plus, I neglected to get a flu shot this year, even though I have been getting it for the past several years and it has kept me healthy. No reason for me not getting the flu shot, just didn't go in and have it done. I am a hearty believer in them despite the perilous warnings by some who say something along the lines that it's just a governmental scheme to insert tracking devices into our bloodstream and then when the time is right they'll allow the alien forces to invade.

Err...I guess maybe nobody says that. Except old reruns of X-Files.

So, yes, Jules and I are in recovery. Jason is mostly better. And Sydney's bout with the flu was only for a few hours. Today she was healthy enough to take care of her poor mama. She got me Sprite. She turned the lights off, pulled the curtains, and put a soft blanket on my pillow. She said, "I'll just watch a movie, Mama. And I'll be quiet while Jules is sleeping." She was. Sure, she did end up having a BOZ marathon, watching almost five hours worth (the teacher in me cringes), but we were in survival mode. Plus, she totally deserved a veg-out day considering that she wasn't feeling 100% anyway. We do what we have to do to make it through.

We have to because there's just TOO MUCH to do this week. Tomorrow we're meeting with our general contractor and designer for the new house we're building (far far into the future). Friday is Jules' birthday. Saturday a party. Sunday...surely something...oh yes, I'll have to go Christmas shopping because of course I haven't even started that. Too busy to be kept down with the flu. I'll even eat carrots for breakfast tomorrow if I have to.

On the upside, I suppose I am officially a 'mom' now that I've had to clean up after flu-infested children. I had a streak of three-and-a-half very good years, but all good things must come to an end. And all bad things must come to an end too.

As sweet Julianne would say to the flu bug: Bye bye!

(video: 27 seconds)

Week 186: Lottofafluza

Before getting into the story of how firefighters ended up in my bedroom at 5:30am Saturday morning, I must be upfront that today is a product-review post. I say that so that you don't think I'm using my husband's illness in order to shill a product. While I occasionally agree to receiving free products and then further reviewing them on my blog, and while I may even encourage you to buy books through my Amazon links so that I can become rich and buy myself a pair of designer jeans (right!), when it comes down to it I'm just writing about my family, not trying to sell things. I just wanted to make that clear so you don't feel like I tricked you into reading this post.

But the story must be told, and the product must be reviewed, so they shall share the post space harmoniously together, like peanut butter and jelly. Except not exactly like peanut butter and jelly because Jason is allergic to peanuts and that would only further lead me to calling 9-1-1 again.

So, the firefighters. Me calling 9-1-1. The story unfolds thusly.

Friday afternoon was just a regular afternoon. Jason had gone for a nine-mile run, then had taken Jules out grocery shopping so that I could get some grading done (Sydney was staying the night with her grandparents). Later that night, Jason started complaining of not feeling well. He had major stomach pains, and was showing symptoms of having the flu (food poisoning is also a possible suspect). Although I had great pity for him in my heart, I have a hard time summoning my maternal instincts for anyone other than my girls (and other small children). I can fetch things, but I prefer to keep my distance because bodily fluids seriously gross me out. I did what I could, which was to provide fluids and medicine.

During the night, Jason continued to not feel well. I would periodically wake up, mumble, "Is there something I can get you?" and then promptly fall back asleep (kind of reminds me of the time I told Jason I was pregnant with Sydney, and he said, "Really?" and then fell back asleep, which he says is what happens when you wake someone up at 2am to share pregnancy news).

Sometime around 5am, I hear a loud crash in the bathroom, and rush in there to find Jason unconscious, the crashing sound having resulted from his head hitting the wall. Since he's only allowing me to share this story because it was so traumatic for me, I am leaving out most of the horrible and frightening details. However, I will say that when I first saw him I was terrified at the condition I found him in. After checking his pulse and realizing that he was still breathing, I grabbed the phone and dialed 9-1-1.

I know some people say that in moments of crisis they can't recall exactly what transpired, but I remember every little detail. I remember the sound of the woman's voice on the phone, the questions she asked, the first thing Jason said when he regained consciousness. I remember it all, and I was scared. After Jason realized that I had called for an ambulance, he was not exactly thrilled. He was now perfectly lucid, and even though he wasn't feeling great, he was not suffering any significant effects of what had just occurred.

Within a few minutes of my phone call, the firetruck arrived at our house. I was relieved they didn't have their sirens on because that might have woke Jules up. I was also relieved that there was now no imminent threat to Jason's health.

It was this sense of relief that can only explain why at this point I completely lost my senses. I saw those firefighters come marching down our driveway and could only think of one thing: they were wearing some heavy duty boots. Which were going to be walking on my clean carpets. As the men were about to enter the house, I squeaked out in my most embarrassed voice, "Oh dear. You're going to walk your boots all over my carpets aren't you?"

I realized that it sounded horribly insensitive, and what did I honestly expect? That they would take off their shoes before coming in the house? Fortunately, the nice firefighter did not laugh at me and said, "I'm pretty sure they aren't muddy." And then later--after they had checked Jason out and we had declined a trip to the hospital--he managed to tease me about what I had said. I'm sure I turned eight million shades of red before he said, "It's okay. My wife would have said the same thing." So, I'm not totally crazy. Just a little bit crazy.

Jason spent most of Saturday recovering, and by that evening he was able to keep some soup and jello down. By Sunday he was mostly recovered, and barring a relapse, he'll have no trouble teaching today and tomorrow before beginning his Christmas vacation. I'm thankful he's okay. I'm thankful for the firefighters who were here and did such a wonderful job. I'm thankful that Sydney wasn't here that night. And, I have to say it again, I'm thankful Jason is okay. I hope I never have to experience that again.

*****

Up until this weekend we had been pretty lucky to escape any significant sicknesses this year. Sure, there's been the occasional cold, and a few days Jason and I had a sore throat. Naturally, I have my migraines every once in awhile which I treat with Peppermint oil and Excedrin. The colds we pretty much suffered through, but the sore throats we were able to ward off with a dose of Simply Gargle, a salt-water gargle that tastes absolutely awful but makes your throat feel a million times better. I confess I'm not really a big fan of medicinal gargles, but Parent Bloggers Network hooked me up with Simply Gargle, and I had every sore-throated person I know try it. My parents loved it. Our nanny's sister loved it (although she said, "It tastes SO gross, but my throat feels better"). And Jason and I, while we despise the taste of it, now use it because its handy one-use capsules are easy to store, and it makes my throat feel like butter (in a good way). I even used it one day when my throat was just tired after a day of lecturing since Simply Gargle is not a medicine that I would have to ingest. I'm not against taking medicine, but if I can find one that will solve my aches without having to swallow it? Now, that's a good idea. Another good idea? Visit their website and sign up to receive a free sample of Simply Gargle. If you don't want your free sample just give it to me. I do enough talking to require a salt-water gargle weekly.

I know during this season of germs and sicknesses, I need to make sure my medicine cabinet is well stocked. I have to get something for the flu (fingers crossed we don't get it again), and I have to go get another box of Simply Gargle because we're out. I'm really hoping the next illness we get in our house is as mild as a sore throat because I don't think my nerves could take another dose of the flu.

Or the carpets either, for that matter.

You're a regular wreck, with a crick in your neck

My freshman year in high school, my drama teacher had all her students memorize several lines from Gilbert and Sullivan's Iolanthe. When I went on to become a drama teacher myself, I had all my students memorize the same lines. While memorization in and of itself is no big deal, the trick with this particular assignment is that it had to be said in one breath. There was very little room for forgetting the lines because then you'd end up passing out on stage, holding your breath until that elusive line popped back into your head. Well, if you were really dedicated to the lines you might pass out. Most of the time, people just take the extra breath and then carry on. Weaklings.

I don't teach drama anymore, and am not even involved in any theatrical projects at the moment. However, that didn't stop my brain from somehow bringing to mind the lines a few days ago.

You're a regular wreck,
with a crick in your neck,
and no wonder you snore
for your head's on the floor,
and you've needles and pins
from your soles to your shins,
and your flesh is a-creep,
for your left leg's asleep,
and you've a cramp in your nose,
and a fly on your nose,
and some fluff in your lung,
and a feverish tongue,
and a thirst that's intense,
and a general sense,
that you haven't been sleeping in clover.

I get out of breath just typing it out because the whole thing is so ingrained on my mind in one breath that I actually tried typing it in one breath. I finally took a breath because I started seeing blue lights. It's true. I can talk faster than I can type.

So why the heck am I telling you this?

Well, I found it rather ironic that just a few days after I recited these lines to Sydney (who was so not as impressed as she should have been), I, in fact, woke up Monday morning with a terrible crick in my neck. When I woke up, I discovered I couldn't turn my head to the left at all without searing pain coursing up and down my neck. It was so awful that it almost made me wish I was in labor again so that I could have such delicious drugs as they give to laboring women to make the pain go away. It was like I had somehow, in my dreams, been involved in a car accident that had left my neck aching. Even today, three days later, I still don't have full mobility in turning my head. I refuse to believe it has something to do with getting old. Not quite sure what it does have to do with, but something not age related.

(On a bizarre note, since I have to turn from the hips instead of the waist, it has made me think of that episode of Brady Bunch, where Carol hits some guy's car in the parking lot, and then he sues her for damages and takes her to court, and they figure out he's a fraud when they drop a stack of books off the table and the doofus turns his neck. Oh, those Brady's. They were so smart.)

Anyway, yes, I have a crick in my neck.

As for the "regular wreck," I'm going to give that title to Jason because he has had a terrible toothache all week. It has been paining him for a couple months now, but over the weekend it got worse. In fact, he was in so much pain on Sunday that I dug out my oxycodone pills that I received when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I hadn't used too many of the pills, prompting the following conversation:

Jason: Oxycodone is highly addictive.
Me: I know. I hope you don't get addicted.
Jason: I won't. But people are. *pause* We could have sold these pills and made some money.
Me: Enough to cover the cost of us going to prison?
Jason: Oh, we have clean records. They'd just fine us.
Me: Clearly you've put some thought into this.

Good thing we're moral, law-abiding citizens who don't sell drugs (and of course do not want to perpetuate the drug problem that is wreaking havoc on Marion County), because then Jason wouldn't have had them to help alleviate the pain in his mouth. He also wouldn't have had the lovely experience of taking medication on an empty stomach Monday morning, making him so queasy that he ended up spewing his guts into a garbage can during his first period class. He was in the middle of teaching; he paused, said, "Just a second," walked back to his desk, and sat down.

Student: "Hey! Are you throwing up?"
Jason: "Yes. Hold on a minute."

If those 6th graders didn't already think he was the coolest teacher ever, they do now.

Jason ended up taking the rest of the day off (because it's hard to maintain control of your students if you're busy throwing up into a trash can), and he had to take yesterday off because his dentist appointment was in the middle of the day. The news is he has to have a root canal, which is a bummer, but at least we have great dental insurance, which somehow makes it seem just a little bit better.

When he headed back to school this morning, of course the news had traveled and he had achieved minor celebrity status. I don't know that he'll be nominated for any sort of Crystal Apple Award, but it certainly ranks right up there with progressive techniques to get your students to pay attention in class.

Between the wreck in Jason's mouth, and the crick in my neck, we're making for some mighty fine parents. Mighty fine.

Baby Steps

Eight steps. From one end of the kitchen to the other, that's how far Julianne walked last night.

Walked.

For the record, she doesn't turn nine months old until the 21st, so theoretically we could say she started walking at eight months old. Good grief. She's still this tiny baby, and yet she is so determined to keep up with her sister. She has adopted the motto of "Anything you can do, I can do sooner." First tooth. Crawling. Walking. Sleeping through the night. I'm not quick on the bragging rights because for one, walking early doesn't mean anything. And two, this competitive streak, this force of nature that compels her to move all the time is going to keep me on my toes for a very long time. Sydney is my cautious, hesitant one. Jules, not so much.

I mentioned to a friend of mine last night that Jules had taken her first steps, and she said, "Everyone in your family is so athletic. Even your girls."

Not sure if walking early is an indication of athleticism, but it's definitely an indication that we're not ones to sit around. Sydney has learned to keep up with us, and now Jules is learning too. Even though Jason is far more athletic than I am--he plays basketball twice a week, runs, coaches soccer, ran in Hood-to-Coast, is already planning on running the Eugene Marathon next spring--I'm not exactly un-athletic. Sure, I may joke about being uncoordinated, but the truth is I have running in my genes. I didn't enjoy running that much until about five years ago, then I became addicted to it. Runners' high? Loved it.

Both my parents have run marathons, and my brother was the Division III Track and Field Athlete of the Year for his outstanding performance in long distance running. After Sydney was born, my brother's gift to me was a new pair of running shoes. Nothing says Congratulations like "Here's a pair of shoes to run off that baby fat." Kidding aside, I honestly wanted running shoes more than a pack of onesies so his gift was certainly appreciated.

So, I ran in those shoes. Put lots of miles on them, and was ready to get another pair because running shoes need to be replaced after 350-550 miles. But before I replaced them, I got pregnant, and I stopped running. Then Julianne was born last December, but I was so not up for getting back in shape by running in the rain. I'm not that dedicated.

Summer arrived, and with it my new determination to exercise more often. Not only did I have the goal of getting back into my wedding dress for our 10-year anniversary, I knew I would just feel better if I was in shape. It helps me clear my head and get rid of mental stress. I vowed that I would get back to running. To help me out with my new goal I got a new pair of running shoes from PBN. They outfitted me with running shoes from Ryka; specifically, this pair of MC2 Run.

The shoes feel great on my feet. They aren't too heavy, and the soles are nicely cushioned. Even the laces are sturdy, which is good since Julianne loves to chew on them. As soon as I got them I immediately put insoles in them because I have ridiculously flat feet and so need special arch support. I'm sure my feet problems contributed to me getting tendonitis in both my knees when I started exercising after Sydney was born three years ago. This time around, I was smarter. Good shoes are the best place to start when beginning any exercise program, but it's super important to have the proper insoles if you have feet with issues. In fact, after these MC2s reach their mileage, I'm going to get a different pair of Ryka shoes specifically designed for flat feet (which I discovered using their ShoeFinder guide). Additionally, if you have tendon/joint problems, it's a good idea to wear knee straps like I do to help alleviate that pain in the patella. (I should once again mention my brother since he's the one who gave me the knee straps. It's nice to have a super athlete/physical therapist in the family!).

Okay, so after having the shoes for over a couple months, I admit I'm not in running shape yet. More like, walking while pushing 50 pounds of stroller around the neighborhood kind of shape. Even though the shoes are attractive and comfortable and fun to wear, they don't have that magical ability to instantly transform my legs into power-horses. I'm still in serious need of some muscle, except in my arms that are fabulously toned from picking up kiddos are the livelong day. Yeah, I could totally almost beat my sister in an arm-wrestling contest, I just know it.

However, I have done enough walking/wandering/hopping along to make a difference: I am proud to say that as of one week ago I am now back to my pre-pregnancy weight and can fit into almost everything in my wardrobe. Sure, it took me eight months (and more than a few nights of going to bed hungry), but I did it. (And if you say, as a certain parent of mine did, "Great! Now it's time to get pregnant again!" I will run screaming from the room.)

I feel confident that my feet are in good shape wearing good shoes, and now that there is a new walker in the house, I'd say these shoes came just in time.

*****

Good news for you if you want some new shoes! Ryka is giving away 50 pairs of new shoes EVERY SINGLE DAY until October. You definitely should sign up for that.

Plus, Parent Bloggers Network is also hosting a contest today to give away more Ryka shoes. Check out the details here.

Maurice Hilleman might have saved your life

A few  years ago I saw my mom reading a book about the 1918 flu epidemic. I borrowed it from her, and got around to reading through it last summer. The book bogged down a bit in a few parts, but it was still interesting. (Did you know more soldiers died from the flu than were killed in action? Did you know that another flu epidemic is likely to strike in the next 20 years?) Even though I am not by any stretch of the imagination a "science person," I do enjoy a good book about diseases because I find the story of epidemics and plagues fascinating. Germs don't really scare me much, for whatever reason. Deep water, yes. Spiders, ohmygosh yes. Germs? Eh, not so much.

Because of my basic interest and knowledge of flu epidemics and such, I have kept up with news stories about the bird flu and other flu-ish outbreaks. I also have followed the media circus surrounding vaccinations. Just in the last several years, vaccinations have come under fire as a possible cause for autism. First it was the MMR vaccination that caused autism, but it turned out there wasn't sufficient evidence to support this claim. Then it was mercury in vaccinations that caused autism, but that wasn't fact either. Then it was the chickenpox vaccination, but no clear link there either.

If I needed further proof of the positives of vaccinations, I got it in the form of a new book that just came out last week. Parent Bloggers Network sent me a proof copy of Dr. Paul Offit's new book called Vaccinated: One Man's Quest to Defeat the World's Deadliest Diseases, which I just finished only moments ago (I started it several weeks ago and then homework fell from the heavens, so I couldn't get back to reading it until this weekend).

The story is about Maurice Hilleman, a scientist from Montana. Never heard of him? Have you heard of measles, mumps, rubella, chickenpox, hep A, hep B, pneumococcus, meningoccus, and Hib? Hilleman is the guy who created vaccines to all these diseases. Yeah. Impressive.

Before Hilleman's death in April 2005, he told his story to Dr. Offit, resulting in this book that encompasses not only his life and professional career, but also the history of the field in which he was working. The narrative, while occasionally jumping awkwardly between direct quotes and explanatory prose, holds together as an informative and compelling story. It's no quick read, that's for sure, but it is well researched. And while the plot centers around Hilleman, there are lots of side-plots that bring in a considerable amount of the history of vaccinations--stories about Pasteur (rabies vaccine), Salk and Sabin (polio). If you're not really interested like I am in all the backstory and political shadows of vaccines, then the first three-fourths of the book might not catch your attention. But the final few chapters should be mandatory reading for anyone who questions whether or not vaccinations are necessary.

I know that there is a growing population of parents out there who don't want to vaccinate their kids, whether for personal or religious reasons. Even in my own Christian community, not many parents support the idea of giving teenage girls the papillomavirus vaccine, which prevents cervical cancer. And up until I read this book I thought, "Well, whatever. It's their kid." I effectively had no opinion on vaccinations.

This book changed my mind on that.

As I was reading about life in sub-Saharan Africa where most children aren't able to get vaccinated, the thought occurred to me that one of the reasons why I feel safe to take my young children out into society, allowing them to play with other children, is because I assume that those children have been vaccinated against some of the deadlier diseases. Certainly, I know that my kids aren't immune to all contagious diseases out there, but I don't imagine that they will catch measles. I don't worry about polio or diphtheria or mumps or smallpox. I don't worry about these diseases because with immunizations these are preventable diseases. But what about the kids who parents don't believe in immunizations? What about the parents who are willing to put my child's life in jeopardy for their personal beliefs? What about the parents who are essentially counting on every one else to immunize their children so that their own non-immunized kid won't get sick? When personal beliefs end up with very public results, yeah, well, I have opinions about that.

Sure, some kids have compromised immune systems and can't get vaccines. I get that. And I certainly understand the hesitancy to use new vaccines, especially if their pediatricians aren't recommending them. When I took Jules in for her Well Baby check a few weeks ago, I passed on one of the new vaccines (for a disease I hadn't heard of and don't remember) because our doctor said that it had just been rereleased after a decade-long FDA ban because the original version had nasty side-effects. My decision was also helped along because our doctor said he wasn't giving it to his daughter. Maybe this makes me a hypocrite, what with all my "vaccinate your kids" passion, but I guess the immunizations I feel most strongly about using are the ones that have been around for years.

At the end of the day, I'll definitely remember one of the final quotes from the book:

"Despite all of society's negative pressures, vaccination has proven itself beyond the shadow of a doubt to be the most logical way to control infectious diseases in a community.... The success story is undeniable. There is no measles, a little bit of mumps, no rubella, a little bit of hepatitis B in many communities. And the reason is vaccination....  But it's not free. It comes with a price, an imperative. And that is that you have to keep using it."

So, thumbs up on the book. And yay for Maurice Hilleman.

Week 152: To cheer, to run

3 hours, 46 minutes, 34 seconds.

He did it. Jason finished the Eugene Marathon this morning. He's been training for a couple months now, and today was the big day to put his feet to the 26.2 mile test. (And to save you from possibly embarrassing yourself in the future, you should never ask, "So how long is this marathon?" All marathons are the same distance.)

Since he had to report to the starting line at Hayward Field at 6:30 AM, we had to wake up very early to make the hour-drive down there. We packed everything the night before so we just had to wake up, get the girls in the car, and head out. Well, we packed almost everything. We forgot shoes for Sydney. Better than forgetting diapers.

Even though Eugene is the track-and-field capital of the world, they have never hosted a marathon. It was pretty cool that Jason got to participate in their first one. It was very organized, with thousands of volunteers. It was also a beautiful course -- along the Willamette River, as well as some of the streets of Eugene and Springfield -- and had very few hills. It sounds like the kind of marathon I would like to run, whenever that comes along. Not anytime soon.

The race started at 7 AM, and Jason along with our friend Paul were off.

See Jason run. Run Jason run. Run run run.

It's a bit tricky to watch too much of a marathon without having to jog all over the place, so the girls and I headed over to Jason's grandparents' house to hang out for awhile. Eventually we headed across the street to see Jason and Paul run by at the 20 mile mark.

Sydney and I had lots of fun cheering the runners on while we waited for Jason to pass by. We clapped and cheered, and Sydney totally got into it by alternately yelling "Go, Runners, Go!" and "Good job!" She was rewarded with smiles and waves from lots of the runners. We practiced and practiced our cheer for when Jason would run by, and when he finally did, Sydney held out her hand full of pebbles and yelled:

"Look Dad! I have rocks!"

So, maybe motivational speaker isn't in her future.

It was a fun day though. I'm so proud of Jason. He crossed the finish line at Autzen Stadium, got his medal and a bottle of water, and said, "I'm tired." I would be too. (At least he felt better than the first marathon runner, who ran the distance to announce the Greeks had defeated the Persians only to die moments later from exhaustion. Bummer.) In the end Jason placed 462 out of 1496 runners, 357 out of 835 men, and was 53 out of 117 in his division (men 18-34). Better than average. But of course I knew that. He's amazing. An amazing race for an amazing man.

Truthfully, he doesn't actually like running all that much, but wanted to train for this because he thought it would be a good experience. Something to check off his list of things to do.

Ride a bicycle from Oregon to Washington, DC? Check.

Ride a bicycle all along the Oregon Coast? Check. (I did that too.)

Run a marathon? Check.

That's my guy, always the athlete. More than 14 years ago I started cheering for him when he was playing basketball in high school. Later on, I cheered for him when he played college soccer. And still later, I cheered for him when he coached both basketball and soccer.

Today I got to cheer him on in his first race. I never get tired of cheering for him. I'm sure I never will.

I love you, Shmoopie. I'm so proud of you. xx

Fact: Water is good for you

(Quite possibly this is filed under the "too much information" area, but such is life.)

Even though I hear all the cool people drink water, I am not a water drinker. I know it's good for me. I know it's the secret ingredient to just about everything: losing weight, better hair, sparkling personality. I have clearly sacrificed all those things to avoid drinking water. Obviously, it's not like I don't drink anything. I drink juice. I drink pop every once in awhile (or "soda" as I learned to call it in my waitressing days). I drink tea. Just not water because I don't like the non-taste of it. I want my beverages to have some sort of texture, and water doesn't do it for me. Sadly I have passed along this trait to Sydney, who guzzles no less than 30 ounces of juice a day, although really her juice is more like flavored water on account of us watering her juice down quite a bit.

So this no-water arrangement usually works out for me. Usually.

Except yesterday. When I woke up and my kidneys were screaming at me. You think you can eat cup-of-noodles and get away with it? A snack sized bag of Fritos?! Just because those saltine crackers are low-sodium doesn't mean you can go ahead slather them with butter!

They were really irked, and therefore decided to put me out of commission for the day. Several years ago I had a kidney stone, and I had all the same symptoms of that yesterday. It's my own fault really. If you don't drink enough water then microscopic-sized meteors will prance about your kidneys having a grand old time. Not to mention the fact that I'm nursing, so most of my fluids take an alternate route of escape. I've learned that kidneys do not like to be ignored like this.

So, I consumed a lot of water yesterday. In fact, I consumed a lot of hot water yesterday because (1) it makes me feel like I'm drinking tea, except that the flavor is really mild, and (2) I thought a hot bath might calm the kidneys down. Works for me, anyway. I also had to skip my morning meeting with my sweet MOPS friends (who I forgot to mention threw me a surprise baby shower on Friday--how amazing are they? SO amazing). Plus, I canceled my afternoon class. I'm sure my students were really bummed about that since they were supposed to take their midterm exam.

So, lots of water drinking for me. And in the very painful end, that seemed to do the trick. Good thing.

And now I'm using some lovely lemon slices to help me continue on with my water drinking habit. It's like drinking lemonade. Only not quite.

Llama llama red pajama, why is sleep so hard for Mama?

It's so satisfying to read a book that makes your life better, isn't it?

During the first two years of Sydney's life I had very few good nights of sleep. More days than not I was exhausted, low on energy, and fighting an uphill battle to not get depressed. But we got through it, and now she sleeps like a champ.

Just in time, of course, for another little person to start stealing my sleep. Oh...yay.

We all know what a bad night's sleep looks like. But if you're a parent, you really know what disordered sleep can do for you. It kills you. Night by miserable night. After that first year of parenthood, you have lost more than 200 hours of sleep. Good thing those little kiddos are worth it, although I confess to sobbing more than once during the night-time misadventures: no. more. kids.

I will say that Julianne is a better sleeper than Sydney was (praise God for that), but I'm still not getting the sleep that I wish I was getting. I've read half a dozen books on getting my kids to sleep better, but never read one on getting me to sleep better. So, given the opportunity to read such a book you bet I was all over that like...like some clever metaphor that I can't think of because I've learned that my brain is functioning at a less than optimum performance due to sleep loss.

The answer to the problems of my life? The Bible. The answer to the other problems of my life? Good Night: The Sleep Doctor's 4-Week Program to Better Sleep and Better Health. I knew before starting the book that I needed more sleep. Duh. If the author's prescription was going to be "get more sleep and your life will be better" I was going to be annoyed that this Dr. Breus fellow was living in the world of perfect situations (no kids, no stress job, no tossing and turning husband).

Oh, Dr. Breus, you didn't let me down. He writes on page 25:

"Given my experience I'm inclined to admit that women, as a gender, appear to bear numerous stresses due to the multi-faceted nature of their roles in today's society. Mom. Wife. Employee. Chauffeur. Cook. Cleaner. Business Owner. Family manager. Caretaker, etc. When I sit and talk with my female patients...we discuss everything from pregnancy to menopause, to career, to marriage, and that word "balance," and I know I've got it much easier than many of them."

Okay. He gets it. I mean all this stuff is a no-brainer, but still. He gets it. Sometimes sleep becomes the last thing on the to do list, and we give it up to get other stuff done, like laundry and bill paying and blogging. The real kicker though is that Dr. Breus says (my paraphrase), I get that. And here's why you need better sleep if you're going to be able to accomplish all that.

Dr. Breus, a medically certified sleep specialist, writes about all the stuff that can take our sleep away, and then basically says, You owe it to yourself, your family, your health, and your overall well-being to sleep better. It's one of the most important things you can do. I know I didn't need permission to request more sleep, but it was good to read about how critical it is to my life. Maybe, just maybe, I need to go to bed earlier. Maybe...*sigh*... I shouldn't give up sleep hours to blog.

Essentially, Dr. Breus develops the answer to the question, "What does a good night's sleep look like and how can I get it?" Even though he has several pages devoted to the science of sleeping, the book is most helpful in actual tips for helping create an environment and lifestyle that are suited for better sleeping. It is possible to wake up in the morning and not feel like your eyes are full of sand.

The book is extremely practical all the way from providing quizzes that assess what your sleep problems might be, to how to make the most of naps, to how sleep helps you lose weight, to how to get your bedroom to be a place where you can sleep better. (I was one step ahead of him on this one because I had already implemented some of his suggestions: paint the room calm colors, get the stressful paper stuff out of the room, put up pictures that calm you, use room-darkening drapes. Today on my to-do list: get night lights, and buy a new pillow for Jason.)

I came away from the book realizing that because my 'during the night sleep' isn't going to be perfect, then I need to make going to bed earlier a priority. If that means taping my tv shows, if that means that I leave a blog unposted and an email unanswered and a paper ungraded, then that's the way it goes. My mental and physical health is dependent upon more--and better--sleep.

HERE'S THE PART WHERE YOU NEED TO STOP SKIM READING: I truly believe this book has something important to say about the necessity of sleep. Even if you think you're a good sleeper, I bet there's something in this book that can make your sleeping even better. It includes a four-week plan on how to get better sleep, and I'll let you know how things are going when I've finished the other three weeks.

In a nutshell: this book is good. It's super helpful. It's completely changed the way I view sleep. Sleep isn't a luxury item. I need it to stay positive. I need it to lose weight. I need it to be a good parent. I need it to be a good wife. I need it to be an effective person in society who can make a difference.

-----

So that's my review of the book. I was lucky enough to get my copy free from Parent Bloggers Network, but it's definitely worth the almost $16 you can get it for on Amazon. Even if you just go to the library or bookstore and spend an hour glancing through it you'll discover things you didn't know about sleeping. Or you could also go to his blog, or his articles on Web MD, or his web site which has a lot of the information that's found in the book. (Sidenote: the only thing that seemed a bit overdone was how often he referred to his web site, although I suppose this would be helpful to those who are just glancing at small sections of the book. I did get a nice chuckle, however, when I saw on page 195 that he misspelled the url his web site.)

And just, fyi, I'm not giving this book a good review because I got it free and because I'm affiliated with PBN. I am completely allowed to give it a bad review, which you know I would because there are too many good books out there for you to waste your time on dumb ones. I firmly believe this. That said, this is a really helpful book. Five twinkling stars from me.

Relief and Worry

"Making the decision to have a child--it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." --Elizabeth Stone

Tuesday I had an ultrasound to make sure that everything was moving along properly. I haven't been gaining weight as much as I should (although this week's candy splurge should remedy that), so the doctor wanted to see if baby was still measuring where she should be.

The good news is Baby is doing fine. The other good news is that I'm not low on amniotic fluid, which had been another concern. I've tried to be pretty even keeled about the whole thing, but of course there was a certain worrying doubt that tugged at my mind before I went it.

An ultrasound at 33 weeks isn't really as interesting as the ultrasound at 18 weeks. The first time, that first view...the image shows up and there! a baby! a whole entire, complete little baby. It's amazing.

The second time around, the image is a lot more crowded. I couldn't figure out what the heck the technician was measuring. Every once in awhile she'd sweep over Baby's face, and I'd think, "There! A baby!" but then she'd quickly move on to the next mystery shape. After she was all finished, we spent a few moments watching Baby's little mouth sucking (not on her thumb, just that reflex that babies have) and the technician printed off a couple pictures for me. I think Baby and Sydney may end up with the same nose (my nose), which probably means that the rest of her will look just like Jason. Maybe that means blue eyes.

So, one less thing to worry about. I haven't been all that worried about this pregnancy, but then again I haven't really been all that emotional about this pregnancy. There are certain emotions I do feel, but I'm waiting for them to resolve themselves before writing about them. Let's just say, I was quick to fall in love with Sydney before she was born; this time around, I'm not there yet.

Naturally, as quick as one worry is resolved, another pops up. Sydney's eyes have begun crossing again even when she's wearing glasses, so that means her vision is worsening. Since her doctor has assured us that there isn't any sort of muscular problem, then I suppose the most they'll do when we go in is give her a stronger prescription. It's not a huge deal, but when my tough-and-brave defenses are down I can't help wondering what the future looks like for Sydney when she is already experiencing deteriorated eyesight at two.

Some days it is hard to keep this external heart that has attached itself to our children from falling apart. This little piece of our heart is labeled "joy," this piece is "health," over here is "security." We want so much for them, and when one piece starts to crack a little bit we can't help but fear that all the other pieces will crack too. I don't want to be that mom whose life is plagued with worry, but oh how our emotions sometimes get the better of us despite our best intentions.

But, back to my toughness and braveness: I have no control over the future. My worrying won't improve her eyes, and my worst-case-scenarios will only drive me crazy. Tuesday's ultrasound got us through one hurdle; I'll wait until Sydnikin's appointment on December 4th to see how we'll get through the next one. Whatever it is, big or small, we'll get through it. Because, really, what other option do we have?