I saw this poem floating around Pinterest, but it was always condensed. I wanted to use the whole text in a photobook, so I recreated the image. It's from this book, and it may be overly sentimental, but it's still just the way I feel.
Posts categorized "Joys"
Sunday, October 09, 2011
Thursday, October 06, 2011
The Birth of Cedar
I got to be part of something amazing last week. Something I will never forget.
I got to see a baby enter the world.
Meet Cedar.
Last September, Megan was with me when Addie was born.
This September, I was with Megan when Cedar was born.
It was incredible.
Although I love birth stories--love writing them, love reading them, love hearing them from new moms--I've never really wanted to watch one. In fact, before last Monday, I'd never seen a baby born before. I skipped that day in health class and have avoided all other opportunities. Obviously I was very present and aware when my own girls were born, but I can't say I saw them being born. It just never really interested me.
But I wouldn't have missed Cedar's birth for anything because I've loved that little baby since the moment Megan told me she was pregnant.
I got to take pictures of the day.
The moment arrives. The world expands and then there's a baby.
I cried.
Proud Daddy.
Happy Mommy.
Perfect feet, waiting for adventures.
Adoring Aunt (and Megan's twin sister).
Amazed big sister.
What can you say about babies that hasn't already been said, already been written and printed in a card?
All I can say is that it was incredible being there, watching Megan become a mama again.
Love.
So much love.
Monday, June 20, 2011
13
Can you believe the first day of summer is tomorrow?
As if in preparation and practice for the season, the weather was fabulous today. I'm hopeful that Mother Nature is ready to bring us sunshine for days on end. In fact, according to the weatherman weatherpeople weather forecasters (who, bless them, seem to be as accurate about predicting the weather around here as I am), it might not rain here for the entire week.
A week! Of no rain! Holy Moses. It's a Summer Miracle.
Jason's last day of school was today. I've readied my summer to-do list, and the towels, sunscreen and flip flops are hanging out on the front porch.
Summer is coming?
Bring it on.
Monday, November 01, 2010
Smiling at You
(photo taken by Sarah)
Monday, January 04, 2010
Speaking of falling in love...
While I was working at the coffee shop today, this super handsome guy took the time today to hand wash a very precious baby doll that had had a very adventurous year living the high (and messy) life on the Family Farm.
I had voted for the Baby Doll Replacement Project, but Jules vetoed that idea.
Mr. Daddy to rescue.
All of us ladies of the house were quite impressed with his heroic efforts in cleaning up Precious Baby (who alternately goes by the name "Shirley" or "Temple"), and have decided that future baby doll washings will always be given to Daddy.
He's our hero. ♥
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Friday, November 06, 2009
On Friends and Kindness
{Grandma (center) in 1959}
I don't want it to go unnoticed that I have appreciated the many kind words you have all sent my direction. The emails, the comments, the prayers--to say that I am grateful for the outpouring of kindness doesn't fully capture my heart. But that's what I have for you. Gratefulness. Thank you for thinking of me.
When we moved from Oregon to Washington, we left behind a wonderful support system of friends. I still keep in touch with many of them through their blogs, Facebook updates, and occasional visits, but for obvious reasons I don't get to see them as much as I used to. Nevertheless, through these past few weeks I've never once felt alone in my grief. Your words have been a huge comfort.
Jason and I knew that we'd need to make new friends when we moved here, but we've been a little slow at getting connected with others. Fortunately, we have lots of family nearby so we never feel lonely. Also fortunately, we have some old high school pals that live in Portland.
While plenty of high school friendships go by the wayside after graduation, of all the friendships I was disappointed I hadn't kept up with, my friendship with my best friend Megan was at the top of the list. We kept in touch through college, and she was in my wedding, but after we both entered the workforce then life kind of got in the way and we lost track of each other.
Last spring, thanks to the networking wonders of Facebook, I managed to reconnect with Megan. To tell you the truth, when I saw her friend request waiting in my email inbox, I burst into tears. I hadn't seen Megan in ten years.
We agreed to meet for lunch at the Kennedy School (never a bad place to have lunch, as my Portland friends will agree). Even though it had been ten years, we still knew each other. Which is to say, we were still so much the same as we had always been. We were friends.
We made another lunch date, this time meeting up with another high school friend who was briefly in town.
That's Megan in the center (holding her sweet daughter) and our friend Sarah on the far right.
Since last spring, Megan and I have continued to meet up for lunch dates. Our families have gotten together (and hooray! the husbands and children get along splendidly). It's just been so amazing that God answered my prayer for a local friend with the bestest friend I'd ever had.
On the day Grandma passed away, Megan called me to see if I wanted to have lunch the next day. We didn't manage to actually talk to each other, only setting up the lunch date through voice messages. I could tell by the messages that she was just calling just because, not because she had heard about Grandma.
By pure coincidence, Megan called me on the day of my deepest grief.
Except I don't think it wasn't a coincidence. It was an answer to prayer (Or as my aunt would say, "A God thing").
Megan sat next to me at Grandma's funeral. We had lunch again today (at the Kennedy School no less!). I have no doubt that we will not lose track of one another again.
I never presume to know how God works. He works in mysterious ways, and that's all I am certain of. But today I was reminded that people are not in my life accidentally. The comments and emails I've received from so many of you are not accidents. My living near my precious family is not an accident. My reconnecting with Megan was not an accident. Her phone call on the day Grandma died was not an accident.
My grief has been made lighter by my friends who have been intentionally placed in my life.
And that, sweet friends, is nothing short of amazing.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Laughed 'til I Cried
Every Friday night should end with 90 minutes of laughter. Seriously. I could do this every week.
My sides hurt and my jaw is tired, and it was totally worth it. I love Jerry Seinfeld's humor, and I was not disappointed. So funny. Larry Miller opened up the act, and he was funny too. But once Seinfeld was on stage, I never stopped smiling.
That guy. He'll always be my favorite comedian.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Surprise Trip
Today is my sister's 30th birthday.
I love a million things about Andrea: her ability to make me laugh and cheer me are at the top of the list.
A few weeks ago I devised a plan. Since her big day was coming up, and since I needed a bit of cheering up myself, I decided that I needed to visit her for her birthday. Not just visit her, but SURPRISE visit her.
It's worth mentioning that our family doesn't do surprises. No surprise parties. No surprise gifts. We find that surprises takes a lot of effort. Nevertheless, Andrea's roommate thoughtfully picked me up at the Denver airport yesterday morning, drove me to Fort Collins, and when I walked in to see my sister she could not have been more surprised. She thought she was hallucinating, that's how surprised she was.
It's been such a fun trip. Going mini-golfing, going hiking, going frisbee golfing, going a whole night without waking up. I needed this trip on so many levels. Extra bonus to spending all this fabulous time with my sister: I'm going to meet Gretchen from Lifenut.
Happy Birthday, Sistah. You's the best, and thanks for letting me crash your birthday party.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Can you tell who colored on the walls today?
"Guess what?" she asks me.
What?
"I love you! Guess why?"
Why?
"Chicken knee!"
Yes, well, I love you too, Julianne. And you may be ridiculously adorable, but you still get a time-out.
Oh, and I did a little coloring on the walls around here, too. New banner. New colors. Orange and red are my solutions to February's melancholy. I think it works. Plus, I did a little rearranging on the ole' linkaroo sidebars.
Guess why?
Chicken thigh.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Gifts: Part One
I had a post all ready to put up about some of the wonderful gifts--tangible and intangible--we've received this season, but then my little nephew went and got himself born this morning.
And babies need their own post, don't you know. You can't lump them in with a list of bulleted items.
Mederith Owen William was born this morning to his proud parents, Tyler and Sarah. He will no doubt have blue eyes, and maybe even red hair, just like his dad and great-grandpa (for whom he was named after).
Three cars worth of people--including Med's sisters Clover and Toby and his cousins Sydney, Jules, and Amanda--got to meet Med for the very first time this afternoon, and you never saw five little girls so happy to meet the newest member of the family.
Oh little boy. You are going to have quite the time growing up on the farm with all these girls.
Both baby and mother are doing well. Med was passed around to all the family members, and Sarah snapped a million pictures. Those zoom lenses come in very handy when you've just had a baby and need to rest in a hospital bed. The hospital's WiFi also comes in handy for posting pictures.
And the most precious photo of the morning is my grandma, holding her 17th great-grandchild, whose name reminds her of the man she married so many years ago. Little Med, meet Grandma-Great. She'll have lots of stories to tell you about the first Mederith whose life was a remarkable one, indeed.
Welcome to the world, little Med. We're so happy to meet you.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Week 233: One in 8 Million
When we boxed up a large majority of our earthly possessions last summer, we didn't have a really good idea of what we'd do when the holidays came along. Which is to say, we didn't know how the whole decorating thing would work. I let it slide that we didn't decorate for the beginning of autumn.
Or Halloween.
Or Thanksgiving.
But to not decorate for Christmas? Um. No.
I got a little bit twitchy thinking about it and almost felt compelled to go shopping for a Christmas soap dispenser, which by the way, I'm not particularly fond of (on account of having to put soap into the dispenser, and then when Christmas is over you have to take the soap out, and I end up wasting soap and wasting time cleaning out all the blasted little crevices inside those Christmas dispensers and for the love of mistletoe and holly it just makes me so mad, which I think is counter-intuitive for Christmas soap dispensers, but I digress...).
So even though for all of about 2 minutes we thought of not getting a tree, in the end it seemed so utterly ridiculous to not get a tree. Afterall, Oregon is the leading Christmas tree grower in the country. No one can top the 8 million trees that grow here. (North Carolina is a distant 2nd with 3.5 million.) We felt it was our civic duty to go buy one. Supporting the economy and buying local and all that.
It's fine if you don't get a tree, but we just had to. It's who we are.
Just like last year, we went to Tucker's Tree Farm the weekend after Thanksgiving, although unlike last year, we didn't have a saw, so we let the nice chainsaw-wielding guy cut it down for us. Very gentlemanly of him.
Also unlike last year, we don't have any ornaments to put on the tree. While in theory we could unbox all our Christmas stuff, we didn't. Because it would have been a lot of work, and really exhausting, and there's no reason to go and exhaust ourselves for the sake of jolliness. That's so not jolly.
So.
We turned to plan B.
I gave Sydney a small budget, and we headed off to Walmart where she picked out some twinkly lights, a box of ornaments, and a star for the top of the tree. The ornaments may be plastic, but they have glitter. The star may have only cost $6, but Sydney never fails to proclaim how beautiful it is.
We made paper chains and snowflakes, and for once in my holiday life, I didn't micromanage at all.
The ornaments are hung low. The paper chains are relatively short. And the glitter and tinsel are everywhere. I don't have to scold anyone to be careful, or don't break, or watch out. It's fabulous.
We also made a quick trip to the craft store (because any trip with Jules where a million breakable things are within reach has to be quick), and got all the necessary supplies for our Advent calendar. (Afterwards I saw that this style was listed as an idea at Amanda's Best Advent Calendar list.)
The girls decorated the envelopes, and I helped string each one up on twine with mini-clothespins. Each morning, as we turn over the previous day's envelope, we think of something we are thankful for from the day before. And our words of thankfulness are what get "tucked" into the envelopes.
Sydney told me how she wanted me to hang the calendar.
It makes me smile.
We don't have our wreath or Christmas dishes or our beloved Christmas lava lamp. We don't have our traditional ornaments hanging from the tree (although if I miss them too much, I can always click back to the ornament page I made a few years ago). We won't even put up stockings here at the apartment.
But we have gingerbread cookies. And eggnog. And Christmas music.
And one of the best Christmas trees ever.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
That's the Way Things Happen on the Polar Express
December 3rd has been circled on our calendar for many weeks now, and all creatures great and small had been looking forward to the day with great anticipation.
For on December 3rd we were taking a ride on The Polar Express.
Our destination? The North Pole, by way of the Mt. Hood Railroad, departing from Hood River, Oregon. It's a very scenic route. Lots of trees. Very little snow.
Sydney and Clover were beside themselves with joy, racing alongside the train, staring up in wonder at the conductor as he called out "Tickets, please! Tickets!" Oh my stars and snowflakes, it was everything these little 4-year-old cousins had dreamed of.
If you aren't familiar with the book or the movie, well then, you are missing out (particularly if you haven't read the book...it's a classic). Fortunately, Sydney is not only familiar with the book (and even possesses her own autographed copy), she knows the movie (which she can only watch with someone sitting next to her because it's a bit scary) and the soundtrack. It's no coincidence that she wears a blue robe, just like the boy in the movie.
The train ride perfectly combined all three as the songs from the soundtrack played over the sound system, as the story was read, as the conductor came by to punch tickets, and as the attendants wearing big white chef's caps passed out cookies and hot chocolate.
As the train raced along the mountain, little eyes peered on out into the darkness looking for wolves and signs of Santa. They might have been looking for wolves because I told them they were there. There might have been a bit of panic until I reassured them that there weren't really any wolves. Just rocks. Very, very friendly rocks.
And those who weren't looking outside were cuddling up with Grandma-Great, whose lap was definitely preferred over Santa's. Good thing Santa is secure in his jolliness or he might get a complex from all the babies who see him and scream.
Neither Jules nor Toby were particularly interested in sitting on Santa's lap, but Sydney and Clover did, both telling him that they wanted "a spinny dress" for Christmas, both giving him a hug. And with a wink and a nod, he wished them a very merry Christmas and gave them each their own silver bell. Even the littlest girls got bells, which Jules enjoyed very much. Not once did she hit anyone with that bell. Seriously. She treasures it.
Two hours after the train set out, we returned from the North Pole, our cameras filled with pictures and our arms filled with children who couldn't stop talking about the trip. After a stop at the North Oak Brasserie for a delicious dinner, we made our way back down I-84, humming Christmas carols as we drove.
And as we drove, little girls dreamed of elves and bells and hot chocolate and cookies, wondering if perhaps high above them Santa was disappearing into the cold, dark polar sky. Magic.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Week 226: Two Hands Together
Flinging their laughter
high, high into summer's final sky
filled with endless blue
and sounds of cheering,
I hear one voice say,
"I'll press here, and then..."
It's understood,
the fountain of magic that pours forth
into the little hand cupping diamonds
that melted in her hand.
This is how I want to remember
the moment summer slipped into fall:
laughter
pouring simultaneously into sweet hands
and a full heart.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Week 225: Rebekah
When we moved, we left behind one very important person of our family. Or rather, we moved to one place and she moved to another. It may sound very well-to-do to say we had a live-in nanny, but it wasn't really like that. She wasn't just our nanny, she was our friend.
Once upon a time, Rebekah was our student. I had her in 9th grade English; Jason had her in history classes. After she graduated from high school, we invited her to live with us and be our nanny while she attended WOU. She lived with us her freshman year in college, then she took a year off to nanny for a family in Bolivia, and then came back to us a year ago. She would have lived with us this upcoming school year, except that we sold our house and figured she didn't want to live in tiny apartment with us. If we had had enough time to plan things out, we would have rented a house so that Rebekah could still live with us. That's how much she is a part of our lives.
She made our girls dozens of meals, changed diapers, spent hours on the floor with them, playing games, doing puzzles, loving them to pieces. She wiped away tears, rocked them to sleep, and washed their clothes. We daily placed our girls' lives in Rebekah's hands, and she never failed us. Any parent will know what I mean when I say, She loved our children and that made her a saint.
If I measured love by how many pages she read to Sydney,
and all the pages she read to Jules,
and multiplied it by a million...that's how much she has meant to our family.
She and I have spent countless hours in the kitchen, talking over breakfast, over lunch, over dinner. More than someone who takes care of our family, she is family. I honestly don't know how we'll manage the school year without her. Gosh, I don't know how I could even handle having another baby without Rebekah's help. To say she helped around the house is a major understatement.
This past summer, we were doubly blessed to have Rebekah's twin sister Anna living with us. It was great fun having them both around, especially since there were wedding plans in the works.
Last Saturday, Anna got married.
Though Anna's beautiful dress captivated the girls, in the end they were both clamoring for Rebekah, especially since they hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks. Poor Jules even refused to speak with Rebekah's older brother until he fetched Rebekah for her. The girl has her priorities.
It didn't matter that Rebekah had dozens of friends and family to see, had important maid-of-honor duties to attend to; she still took time to carry Jules around and hit the dance floor with Sydney. It was a sweet way to end our time together with The World's Best Nanny.
There is no way to express how much love our family has for Rebekah, and how much we already miss her. Almost every day since we have moved, Sydney asks, "Are we going to see Rebekah today?" Whenever I drive downtown, past the shop where Rebekah worked, Jules points out the window and says, "Beeba."
I suspect every parent can think of at least one person who will be remembered by how they loved our children. Rebekah is that person for us. We were blessed to have her live with us, and no matter what, she'll always be family.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Rollercoaster
At the end of each day, I sit at the computer, wandering the web, my mind simultaneously a vat of mud and brimming with ideas. The journey of selling our house has ruined my concentration, especially this week when it seems that at any moment the whole deal will fall apart.
We got an email tonight letting us know that the buyer is probably going to withdraw her offer.
Hope remains that we can work it out, but it's been a tough week. Tough knowing when we'll need to find a place to stay after the house sells. Tough knowing if the house will sell. Tough knowing that at the end of the day we feel no closer to actually breaking ground on building the new house.
And then today, I was feeling completely stressed out with
emails to realtors,
phone calls to contractors,
photo retouching for a new job I have (and like, but today was definitely a logistics headache),
and somehow trying to get lunch on the table.
At this moment of pulling my hair out, Sydney asked to play with play-dough. Seriously. Play-dough is a thorn in my side, a plague in my clean kitchen, an irritant almost as strong as rap music. Nevertheless, she was patient with me as I hunched over the computer for an hour, and so I pulled it out for her.
Thirty minutes later--when she was done--
rather than clean the table,
sweep the floor,
and wash the play-dough toys,
I decided that we just needed to be outside.
I needed to be far, far away from my computer.
I needed to be close to my babies, sitting on a blanket, eating frozen blueberries, watching Sydney dance and Jules spin.
It may be a crazy ride, but at least I've got one handsome guy, two pretty little people, and a dozen bags of frozen blueberries by my side. Hope lives on.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Eleven With A Theme
(From last month's walk through Central Park; picture courtesy Inkling.)
Eleven Ways to Celebrate 11 Years of Wedded Bliss:
- Drop the kids off with grandparents. Hard to say who's going to have more fun...the grandparents or the grandkids!
- Go downtown Portland for a wonderful dinner at Pazzo Ristorante. Enjoy red meat since it's never cooked at home.
- Stroll downtown, hand in hand, through stores, through Pioneer Courthouse Square (pause to consider watching Goonies showing in the square later that night, but decide against it). Talk about how much you love Portland.
- Snuggle on the couch, watching tv.
- Sleep in (even if you don't end up sleeping in, relish a morning where you don't have to change a diaper, clean up spilled cereal, fill sippycups with juice, give baths, and answer no less than 20 questions about What We Are Doing Today)
- Finish projects around the house that are tricky to do when small hands "help."
- Plan to see X: Files (even if you don't believe in aliens, you do believe in Mulder and Scully).
- Pack a picnic lunch to eat at Bush Park between movies.
- Plan to see The Dark Knight (even if one of you suspects that it might be too violent for her taste).
- Eat dessert--black and white mousse torte, naturally--at The Konditerai.
- Kiss each other goodnight, and remember that it's been a good year.
Of course, they've all been good years. But this year has been one in which almost everything seemed to fit in place. No big changes, no catastrophes, no surprises. We've been healthy, gotten our finances on track (hooray for finally being debt-free), made plans for the future. Only the Lord knows what next year will hold--moving? new jobs? building a house?--and last night as we were eating dinner, we decided that we aren't going to worry about next year. That piece of time is not in our hands.
But this year? Jason got his Masters degree; I got another year of making it through; we traveled to the east coast twice. We had another year of parenting two beautiful girls, who have discovered joy in dancing, joy in singing, joy in laughing. Come to think of it, we have a lot of laughter in our house.
Which is the most anyone can hope for.
(Love you, Sweetums. And better consider this post your card...since I hate to break tradition by getting you one. xx)
Related Posts:
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Week 214: When a Picture shows A Thousand Days
Jason told me that yesterday morning he woke up thinking, "Now what do I have to do in the backyard today?"
And then he remembered. The backyard is finished.
Of course, as any home owner will tell you, the outside is never really finished because there are always weeds to pick, grass to mow, cobwebs to shake down. But in the grand scheme of Projects for The Backyard, we are done.
To know me is to know my struggle with our backyard, so here are a few links (minus the ones where all I do is sob quietly onto my keyboard) that should catch you up with the drama:
- (November) Receiving eight pallets from Lowe's
- (January) Working on the patio and retaining wall
- (May) Finishing the patio and play area
It only took us a little over two years, and a few thousand dollars. It only cost Jason six months of hard labor, and many, many tears (and pleading with Oprah) on my part. That's all behind us now, and there are no hard feelings on my part about any of it. The money, the work, the tears, the frustration, the mud tracked into the house by our dog--a distant memory. That's because I've just spent the last week really enjoying our backyard. Really. Really really. I can't even fully explain how much it means to me that I can go out into our backyard and read a book while the girls play in the water table, or sit on the grass, or splash in the kiddy pool, or go down the slide. Basically, they're doing everything a kid should be able to do in a backyard, none of which was available to them last summer when the only space we had to play in was a small patch of grass in our front yard.
This is what I've been dreaming of.
You already witnessed the completion of the southern backyard. And now
finally,
at long last,
here's the completion of the eastern backyard.
Just last week it looked pretty much like this, except Jason had ripped out the sod before our trip and our lilac bush is done blooming:
And now I walk off our patio...
and turn the corner to see...
*drumroll*
This is where I've been reading, where I've been cutting fresh roses, where I watch the cherries turn red on the tree. This is where Sydney is learning how to hop from stepping stone to stepping stone, and Jules is mastering her picking up rocks skills. This is all because my husband is amazing.
This is my backyard.
(c) Creature Bug 2008. All rights reserved.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Week 209: Discovering Ballet
If you had ever visited my bedroom when I was a teenager, you would have thought I was a ballerina. Ballet posters adorned my walls, my closet doors, my bulletin board. I had teddy bears with tutus, pins with ballet slippers. I had seen every dance-themed movie, and secretly practiced the ballet moves behind the closed doors. I wanted with all my heart to be a ballerina, or at least some kind of dancer.
But I never took dance lessons.
To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if I ever even asked my parents if I could have dance lessons. I had piano lessons, voice lessons, a short and unfortunate period of time as a soccer player. But I never danced, even though I really wanted to. I suppose I didn't ask my parents because I figured they would say no. Maybe if I had really been insistent on it they might have considered it. It didn't ever cross my mind that I actually could be a dancer, only that I wanted to be one.
So, last Christmas when Jason's mom--who had been a ballerina for 20 years--said she'd help pay for Sydney to attend a dance class, I was giddy with excitement. Just like pursuing my own dance aspirations years ago, it had honestly never occurred to me to put Sydney in ballet at a dance studio because I always figured it would be too expensive. As it turns out, it really was too expensive for us, so I don't know if we can manage her going back in the fall. However, I don't regret the money we spent. And if there's any way we can have Sydney in ballet again in the fall--especially because she clearly enjoys it so much--then we'll do it.
Every Monday morning since last January, Sydney would put on her red leotard, her white tights, her white dance skirt, and her pink ballet slippers. She'd spend 45 minutes in Miss Erin's class with nine other 3-year-old girls, and they would twirl, and leap, and stretch, and demi-plie. They also diligently practiced their routine that they were to perform for the recital. I was a little apprehensive that Sydney would be too shy, or not be able to follow the directions, but my fears were unfounded and Sydney thrived in her class. She loves to dance.
Last Friday was the dress rehearsal, where I took most of these pictures and the video. Saturday was the recital, and it was a big production, much bigger and much more professional than I thought it would be. Sydney's dance school had rented the Historic Elsinore Theatre, and all the preschool classes were part of the matinee performance (the school-agers and adults performed during the evening production), as well as the advanced ballet class. Sydney's grandmas and grandpas and cousins came to watch Sydney the Beautiful Ballerina. She with her hair pulled back in a bun, make-up sparingly applied, costume properly fluffed, tights brand new for the occasion.
There is something magical about little girls in tutus, their sweet voices reminding each other where to stand on stage. The music played, the tulle swirled and swished, and the little pink slippers tripped across the stage. Sydney knew where to go and swayed when she was supposed to. As I watched her, I was surprised by the tears in my eyes. Who knows what more she'll do in the world of dancing, but for that moment she was a beautiful dancer, on an amazing stage, curtsying before an applauding audience. Even afterwards, as she held her flower bouquet in her arms, I looked at her and beamed. Not because I had a secret wish for Sydney to fulfill my dreams of becoming a dancer; I was just so very proud of what she accomplished. On her own two pink slipper-clad feet.
Bravo, my sweet.
Here's the video...Sydney is the one without her crown (she had her crown on for the performance, but we couldn't find it for the dress rehearsal):
(c) Creature Bug 2008. All rights reserved.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Thursday, April 03, 2008
When Strangers Judge You
I had an unfortunate incident happen to me today. One of those things that I suppose happens to people every day, although rarely to me. One of those things that at first seems like a practical joke, but then you realize that it isn't. One of those things that makes you laugh, makes you mad, makes you confused, and above all else, makes you wonder what on earth is going on.
I had a post up today that tried to come up with a clever way to talk about the miracle properties of Diaper Goop (that I received from the ever fabulous Parent Bloggers Network). In this post (which no doubt is still in your Google Reader if you haven't read it yet), I talked about how Jules cries in her crib, even with a messy diaper. While this is true, I haven't ever knowingly allowed her to cry in her crib with a messy diaper. My story was meant to illustrate how Diaper Goop keeps Jules rash-free even when I sleep through her cries. (BTW: It's a great product, and the whole family has loved using it.) Also, the story was meant to be humorously self-deprecating--me, the lazy mom. Ha ha. Of course, as anyone who knows me will tell you, it couldn't be farther from the truth. I do everything in my power to keep my kids healthy, safe, and happy. My friends know that. People who regularly read this blog know that. And yet, one story, taken out of context gave someone the right to call me a bad mom.
Today a stranger judged me. Not just one stranger, although the first one I suspect encouraged the rest of the group to follow along, leaving a string of mean comments in their wake. Today people who don't know me judged me on the basis of one half-factual story. These are people who have never met me, never been to my blog before, never read my posts before, never seen my pictures of my girls or been witness to my love for my children. These are people who tried to shame me into thinking I was a bad mom, although there are no words that will make me feel that way.
If it made them feel better to get their scolding words off their chest and say it to me, well, all right then. If they felt like they were making the world a better place--teaching one more bad mommy a lesson and hoping she changes her meth smoking, whip cracking, martini-before-noon drinking ways--okay. There is a place for outrage, this I know. Unfortunately, it was completely misguided being directed at me. Who, I guess it needs to be noted, does not smoke meth, crack whips, or drink martinis.
Clearly they don't know me otherwise they would have known that I am the mom you want on your side, in your corner, fighting for justice and safety. I am the mom you want teaching your children in the classroom. I am the mom who is raising children to be compassionate and loving, not, as you too quickly surmised, someone else. If there's anything you can learn from this mistake it's this: it's very difficult for a stranger to adequately judge someone else. Especially if you're judging through the printed word. Especially if your directive to judge came at the prodding of an annoyed friend. There is no happy ending to that story.
I have my failings as much as anyone, but when it comes down to it I know I'm a great mom. I don't need to list everything I do for and with my children because who the heck cares about that? My kids, that's who, and they aren't reading yet. But when they get old enough to read this post, they'll be the first to rise up and call me blessed. Of that I am convinced.
My story does have a happy ending, however. And it is this:
xoxo
*****
(c) Creature Bug 2008. All rights reserved.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
32 Things I Love About You
Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, who gets to be a year older than me for nine whole days. To celebrate him turning 32, here are 32 things I love most about him.
- He gives me a hug, a kiss, and tells me he loves me every single day.
- He reads bedtime stories to Sydney every night.
- His playfulness when he wrestles with the girls.
- That he cuts his own hair
- He always notices when I've cleaned the house.
- Our mutual ability to recite Seinfeld lines to each other with perfect intonation: "The sea was angry that day, my friends." "I'm DRIVING the bus!" "We had a deal!"
- The way he dances
- He loves to exercise and is persistent about asking me to exercise too.
- He always compliments me on dinner and says "thank you" even if all I did was put a pizza in the oven.
Cereal, also, is a perfectly good dinner to him. - He will watch "Grey's Anatomy" with me, even though I think he (not so) secretly hates it.
- He has given up watching "CSI" just because I couldn't handle watching it anymore.
- He doesn't complain that I refuse to get cable tv (even though we wouldn't have to pay for it).
- He reads books.
- I know he's a really great teacher.
- He's way smart.
- He is loyal to his friends.
- Our secret code to tell each other "I love you"
That I can lean over to him in church and he instinctively knows to turn his watch towards me so I can see what time it is. - His freaky ability to sing cartoon/commercial/old tv show jingles, word for word. Seriously. It's some sort of gift.
- He has limitless patience with me.
- The amount of time and effort he is putting into our backyard
- He's a great gift giver (diamond earrings one year for Christmas, trip to Maine this year).
- We can play cribbage together, and even when I beat him, he will still play another round.
- He will do laundry, vacuum, straighten-up, and cook without being asked.
- His commitment to Tuesday nights: dinner, Dutch Brothers Coffee, story time at the library
- We promised never to go to bed angry, and have stuck by that promise all our marriage except one night when we had a stupid argument over the dog.
- The way he looks at me when we hear the theme song to "Antique Roadshow"
- His passion to be a man dedicated to serving God.
- His love of good smelling candles, and a willingness to spend a small sum of cash on peppermint candles because that's our favorite
- When I told him I was afraid of having another baby for fear he'd be disappointed if we didn't have a boy, he said, "I'd never be disappointed. I love my girls."
- He lets me put my freezing cold feet on the back of his legs when I crawl into bed at night.
Happy Birthday, Iokona. {* * *}
Love, Me
Monday, January 14, 2008
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Merriment
It has been a holly, jolly week, even though the weekend hasn't actually been so jolly on account of illness. But I'm not sick, and I think my family is recovering, so let's celebrate.
::last Saturday::
(photo Timothy J. Gonzalez, Statesman Journal)
We went to the Festival of Lights parade here in town, and it was quite the thrill. Even though it was freezing (fa-reezing!!), it wasn't raining, so there were swarms of people along the parade route. In fact, I read in the newspaper that 100,000 people were there, which is a lot of people considering the city's population isn't even 150,000.
We were prepared with hot chocolate and bags of popcorn, as well as blankets (though not enough), and enjoyed the school bands the most. The pimped-out cars that had the fire exploding out the tailpipe was definitely too scary for our girl, although I think she'll remember it for the rest of her life.
::last Sunday::
As if Saturday wasn't exciting enough, we topped off the weekend with our church's Children's Christmas program. Last year, Sydney was so not into singing the songs and being on stage. This year we practiced. We did the hand motions in the car. We built it up to be THE event of the year, at which Grandma and Grandpa would be in attendance. You'd never think that little Miss Drama Queen me would have a child who is so anti-showing off, but our practice paid off and she did make it through the program with stamina and flair. I think it helped that she got to wear her new Christmas dress, which as it turned out was the same dress her friend Gabry wore.
She was pretty happy to see me in the audience (in this video you can see her tell her teacher, "There's my mom!"), but that pales in comparison to how happy I was to watch her. If there is one thing that Sydney loves doing, it's singing. And to see her overcome her fear of crowds and sing her heart out was a proud moment for Jason and me. If you happen to like watching kids sing, here's Sydney singing Who Was There That First Christmas Day?, and here she is singing Away in the Manger.
I love my girl. Especially when she's wearing little lamby ears and laying her head down for "the little Lord Jesus, asleep in the hay."
::last Tuesday::
Peppermint hot chocolate. Obvious merriment.
::last Wednesday::
Remember when I got together with some area bloggers? And I said I met a mom who loves to read? Well! She came over! To my house! With her adorable daughter Sawyer who had the grandest time playing with Sydney! Though you may not think it from my writing, I can be a bit of an introvert. But after talking to Rachel, and then later chatting with her at the library's bedtime storytime, I decided to be bold and invite her over. Of course, I'm so glad I did because we had a lovely afternoon talking about (as she said) everything but books. But we did trade books. And Sydney and Sawyer read books together. And Jules probably ate a book or two while we were all having fun. How about that. Thank you Rachel and Sawyer for a wonderful afternoon. Can't wait to get together again.
I love new friends, don't you?
::last Thursday::
Gave my students their final exam, and now have four weeks off for Christmas vacation. It's bittersweet because I do love teaching that class.
Also, I got my hair highlighted. The week before I got it cut short again, and so happy am I to have found a new hair stylist that I love. At the aforementioned blog party, Ona gave me Nikki's phone number along with a hearty recommendation, and so I made an appointment for a haircut. I was so smitten with her I had her do my eyebrows. And then she highlighted my hair. I think I've run out of things I can have her do, so now it's your turn, all you local girls. Nikki. Studio 554 on Ferry Street. I have her number and so does Ona.
::last Friday, aka last night::
Well, not to say that there's no more merriment going on, but it ran a bit short in the middle of Friday night, whereby I make a 9-1-1 call and find myself with a firetruck and ambulance in the driveway and paramedics in our bedroom tending to my poor sick hubby. That story, however, will have to wait until Monday.
Until then...
Friday, November 30, 2007
Brown Eyes
'Tis the season for gift giving, and Parent Bloggers Network asked, "What makes a gift memorable?" My mind immediately went to a gift I have already written about, but thought it was worth sharing again. I just now read it again and got all weepy over it.
May your Christmas be filled with brown eyes.
*******
I would be hard pressed to remember every Christmas gift I have ever received. Of course, I'll always remember the Christmas I was pregnant and Jason got me diamond earrings. I'll remember the dress I received one year that a relative promptly proclaimed as "hideous." I'll remember the not-an-engagement ring that Jason gave me when we were dating. I'll remember the yellow puffy stuffed animal that still sits on my bed at my parents' house.
And never, for as long as I live, will I forget the year I got blue eyes instead of brown.
That year there were four identical boxes under the tree. This tag had "Stephanie," that one had "Tyler," and those over there had "Andrea" and "Jacob." Love, Mom.
With four kids, lots of grandparents, cousins, pets, aunts, uncles, and a mom and dad, you can imagine that under our Christmas tree were piles of presents. My parents didn't hold back the gifts until Christmas Eve. They were there for us to organize -- that side of the tree was for my presents, that corner for Andrea... -- and gently shake. We'd search the creases and corners of the wrapping paper to see if we could get any hints to the contents of the gift.
The four boxes were a total mystery. What could they be? What would we all be getting? Our imaginations never strayed to thoughts of socks, or pajamas, or shoes. These were real gifts. We knew it.
Christmas morning came, and we four kids tumbled into the living room after an early morning of opening stockings in my room. The 14-foot tree sparkled with tinsel and bubble lights, and there! beneath the tree! the four boxes.
Other gifts may have been opened, carols may have been sung, but the only thing on my mind was the box. Finally, with our own respective boxes in front of us, we simultaneously opened. For some reason I dawdled behind in opening, so I saw what everyone else got. My mom had made us -- hand stitched, hand stuffed, hand painted -- dolls. They looked kind of like Cabbage Patch dolls, except better because, oh! because they looked like each of us. Tyler's with sandy blond yarn hair, and blue eyes. Andrea's with long red hair, and brownish eyes. Jake's with brown hair, and brown eyes. The dolls were us.
I finished opening my present, ready to hug her close to my heart. Imagine my surprise when I saw that my doll wasn't the same. My doll was a real Cabbage Patch doll. One that my mom had stood in line for, paid extra for, bought in the knowledge that I wouldn't want a hand-made doll. My good manners kicked in, and I smiled and thanked my parents. A real Cabbage Patch doll with a shiny vinyl face and birth certificate.
But something wasn't right. I looked at my blond haired doll and noticed, of course, that she had blue eyes. I knew all blond haired dolls had blue eyes. I was old enough to know the doll codes: red hair with green eyes, brown hair with brown eyes, blond hair with blue eyes.
Blue eyes.
The wrong color.
The present opening celebration continued, but my subdued manner finally caught the attention of my mom. Stephanie, what's wrong?
I had always been proud of having blond hair and brown eyes. Dark brown, chocolate, without even a suggestion of blue. Norwegian in every way but the eyes. Those eyes were from my dad, a gift that I wasn't ashamed of. Yet, somehow, looking at this homogenized doll felt like ridicule. Being teased. Made fun of. For being different. Bitter tears of disappointment streaked down my face, even as I thought, "I should be grateful." I realized what my mom had done. She had thought I wouldn't want a hand-made doll. She had thought I would prefer the store bought one, the doll that all my friends had. She had tried to make Christmas special for me by getting me the gift that was at the top of the list. The real, not the fake.
Turns out, real and fake are sometimes in the eye of the beholder. I didn't want blue eyes. I wanted brown eyes. I wanted one that was like me, so that our four dolls could play together and be little replicas of our selves. And of course, it wasn't just about the eyes. It was also about something else -- something I couldn't articulate at that age -- about having something from my mom that I couldn't get from a store. "You didn't make me one," I cried. "You made one for them, and not for me. And her eyes are BLUE." Tears tears and more tears. (Can you believe it, I'm even crying as I type this up.)
I know I surprised my mom. She had guessed incorrectly about the state of my materialistic heart. Maybe it made her smile. Maybe it made her laugh. I hope it made her proud.
The best Christmas present I ever received wasn't the one that I got on Christmas, but the one that my mom gave me a couple weeks later. My very own Stephanie doll. Blond hair. Brown eyes.
The perfect color.
------
Share your story with PBN and be entered to win a gift certificate from Excitations.
Sk*rt this story.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
It takes a village
(Snow Village photo courtesy of Department 56)
For the past thirteen Christmases, I have watched my mother-in-law, Sharon, put up her Snow Village. When I first saw it so many years ago, she had already developed quite a large collection but throughout the years since then the collection has continued to grow. A school building. A coffee shop. An evergreen tree with tiny, blinking Christmas lights adorned on its snowy branches. Only in the past four or five years has she asked that we not add to her collection of more than 20 houses, 3 cars, three dozen people, and other assorted pieces because she doesn't have enough space to display even what she does have, let alone room for more.
I have admired Sharon's Snow Village--even though I refuse to collect anything myself--because it has always seemed magical. Little towns, dressed up for the holidays, built on the theme of a good old-fashioned Christmas: reminds me of being a kid. I didn't grow up with anything even remotely resembling the Snow Village, but I remember a little church that my mom would display every Christmas season.
One little plastic church that sat on top of the TV. No town, no little people caroling around the church, no fake snow--just a church. And yet, I would spend hours standing next to the little church, winding up the music that chimed out "Silent Night" from inside the church, watching the tiny Christmas light glow from the windows. It didn't matter that all we had was one church because my imagination filled in the missing pieces. I created whole stories surrounding the church--there was the village that was "down the hill" from the church, the people who went into that little chapel for Christmas Eve, singing Christmas songs, and having festive parties in the church basement. In my mind's eye, I saw the wooden pews and the nativity scene set up in the church. There may not have been a whole village, but that didn't stop me from pretending there was.
Today, as we were visiting at Jason's parents' house, Sharon pulled out the huge storage containers filled to the brim with Snow Village pieces. We have always talked about the day Sydney would be old enough to help set up Snow Village, and this was finally the year.
Oh, the look on her face as she saw all the pieces! The wonder, the awe, the absolute delight in pulling out the glass figurines. She assembled a small pile of fake snow on the carpet in the livingroom, and there the tiny horse drawn carriage made its rounds. Sydney would guide the carriage around and around, singing Jingle Bells and pretending to pick up other little children who would ride in the sleigh. I sat back and watched--not wanting to intrude on the story between Sydney and her grandma--listening as they created whole lives for the people of Snow Village.
As Sharon would unpack each piece, Sydney would decide where the building would go on the table. To the left were the houses and trees, in the center was the park with benches and an ice skating rink, to the right was the village square, with the Toy Shop, of course, at the center. Sydney sprinkled snow over the whole village, and gave names to the people. "Here is Daddy holding Julianne. Here is Mommy and me singing songs." And on and on she'd go, creating conversations between the people, all the while scooping up the snow and dropping it over the village.
Sharon took out less than a third of her collection, although even at that it still filled up an entire side table. Next year, when Sydney is 4, we figure that the whole village will have to come out. I can't imagine Sydney letting any buildings stay in their boxes once she knows how much fun it is to sit and watch and create the stories of the Snow Village. She already loves the little yellow VW bug, the ladder that sits waiting to be climbed, the red bird that sits atop the snow-covered bird house.
Today, as Sydney's imagination was in full swing, I saw myself in her, whispering out the words of pretend conversations, moving little people to their places and then moving them back. There is something magical in the way she plays on her own, and it stirs in me emotions I'll never capture in words. I found myself watching her today, as the Snow Village became alive in her eyes, and feeling thankful for that gift.
I admit that for more than a few years, I haven't looked that closely at Sharon's Snow Village anymore. It has become part of the decoration, like a throw pillow that says Merry Christmas, or a picture of Santa Claus on a Christmas card. Just some image of the holidays. But today, I saw the Snow Village again through Sydney's eyes and realized what a lovely place it is. I also figured out what the attraction is to that kind of collecting: there is something fun about creating a village of your very own.
The village doesn't have to be very big, though. Today I realized that no matter how old some people get, there is always joy in the experience of standing by the little plastic church, listening to the faint strains of "Silent Night," and envisioning all the people who are part of the Christmas village.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Treats
Oh, I know I should finish my three-part blog post, but I'd rather show off some fun pictures instead. As it turned out, I didn't get any pictures of Julianne--only a video that I need to edit down--but she didn't dress up for the evening anyway. Or at least, she dressed up as Super Baby who can take off with a handful of candy at lightning quick pace.
As for Syd...oh, we were waiting all day long for Daddy to get home and take her out through the neighborhood. Free candy? Mercy. There's no way she's missing that event.
She has had her Trick-or-Treat outfit picked out for a month. It's her favorite princess dress (that was originally a Valentine's Day dress from Grandpa Steve), and she was certain it would woo the candy right away from our neighbors.
Since it was cold outside tonight, then she had to wear two long-sleeved shirts under her dress, tights, and a fabulous chenille cape. Dress to impress to get candy for the Princess. Repeat it with me! Dress to impress to get candy for the Princess!
And, of course, no night out on the town is complete without our hat and kid gloves. There was a bit of trickery involved in getting the gloves on since Jason wasn't aware that there were right and left gloves, but he managed. You can see that I had nothing to do with the dressing up since, as I have mentioned before, if Daddy is home then there's no sense paying much attention to me. I can just make myself useful and hold the camera. Or the baby. Or whatever, as long as I'm not interfering with whatever Daddy is doing.
Ready to head out! Soccer bag in tow to collect the pounds of candy that our neighbors are willing to bestow upon small and impressionable children.
Off they go, Daisy barking at all threatening ghosts and goblins and scary chipmunks that cross the Princess's path. Sydney did have a change of heart about her shoes when she got to the top of the driveway. She had wanted to wear princess shoes--slip-on, heeled shoes--even though I told her that even though I support and endorse wearing heels, they aren't exactly trick-or-treating attire. She finally agreed with me and changed into her new pink tennis shoes. They have little sparkles on them, so they are still princess attire.
Reveling in the bounty of the evening. She was, Jason said, a fabulous princess who remembered to always say Trick-or-Treat and Thank-you at the appropriate time. Manners are very important for princesses. Moderation is also important, so she allowed herself two pieces of candy. We won't mention how much candy I ate tonight. Let's just say I do not follow the code of conduct befitting a princess.
Candy munched, teeth brushed, bedtime stories told.
The clock didn't need to strike midnight before this princess turned into a sleepy pumpkin.
And good night.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
To Twirl
I finished Sydney's green and pink tutu, and have already gone back to the store to buy supplies for a few more--including mine, which will be predictably pink. I'm thinking that tutus are the next big thing at our house. Sydney and I have already made plans for red ones and white ones and maybe even an orange one for Halloween. I think my inner crafter has been locked up too long, and now that I've found an easy and inexpensive project (no sewing! under $10!) I'm going off the deep end. Also, tutus coincide nicely with our current dancing obsession. If you're interested in making your own tutu, I used the looping technique from this tutorial (found through Mopsy) and the rubberband tip from this tutorial. [Sidenote: if you haven't perused the Kiddley site, I must encourage you to. Even though they stopped posting months ago, it's still full of wonderful ideas.]
Of course, Jules only gets to wear hers for limited amounts of time since she is mostly keen on ripping the tulle up and putting it in her mouth. If there's a way she can make something a choking hazard, leave it up to her to find it. She's so *smart* like that.
And tomorrow, to round off what has turned into quite the princess week, I have Disney DVDs to give away. Yay for prizes! Princess movies, in fact. But since we're more brains than beauty around here, I have a Little Einstein DVD to give away too. And, because I'm in a fit of tulle around here, I'm throwing in a little extra something for the winners.
I'm off to twirl around with baskets of laundry. Exciting.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Week 168: The Nice Things
It's been a bit of a rough week around here, hence my absence. All week long I've had this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, and many tears have been shed despite my best intentions to not worry about things I don't have control over. What seemed like a wise financial investment a year ago, has suddenly turned out to be a nightmare. I don't like to write about money problems because it just seems awkward, but I'll just say that sometimes things don't work out the way you hope they would and leave it at that.
Adding to my overall feelings of disappointment is the fact that summer is ending and so Jason is heading back to work. Over the past three years I've gotten better at gearing up for the school year, especially since it means I get to go back to teaching my classes again (which doesn't seem like work for as much fun as it is), but it's still an adjustment having Jason gone all day after having him home for nearly two months. The beginning of the school year combined with soccer practice and games makes those days especially long, but it'll be okay. I'm not going down the "change is good" route, but change is inevitable so best to face it with as cheery a heart as possible.
Rather than dwell on what isn't, let me share with you what is.
What is nice is that Amanda thought of me this week and nominated me for the "Nice Matters Award." You know how when you're having a no good, terrible day and something good happens to you and you start to cry because the feeling of something nice is so unexpected and comforting? That's what Amanda's thoughtfulness did for me. I don't know how many of you read Amanda's blog, but let me tell you one of the most joyous blogging experiences for me is reading about her process of adopting a child. She and her husband are in the midst of this amazing journey, and just as the lovely blinking button says on her blog's sidebar, they are "paper pregnant." A more lovely, thoughtful, amazing, beautiful couple you cannot imagine, and I'm already praying for their little child who will someday be in their arms. Someday, the London Southern Belle will move up my sidebar into the category of 'Mommy Bugs,' and that will be a day worth celebrating. Hugs across the Atlantic to you, Amanda. xx
And now that I'm all teary and weepy, I must tell you what else has been nice around here.
New, green glasses!
Here she's playing it off as no big deal, but you should have seen her jumping around outside after she got them. "I love my sunglasses!" We may have overstressed the importance of keeping her glasses safe because when we went to the grocery store she took them off and tried to hand them to us. "I don't want to break them," she said. "I better wear my old glasses so these don't fall off."
It took quite a bit of convincing that she could, in fact, wear these around like her old glasses. She still doesn't quite understand the whole concept of transitional lenses because she thought she couldn't wear them inside, but after a lengthy explanation--involving my highly scientific explanation of "magic glasses!"--she is adjusting to her new frames.
Other nice things from the past week:
- Going to see Bourne Ultimatum opening weekend. Jason and I have had THREE movie nights this summer. That's more than we've had all year. Bourne Ultimatum was fabulous and I highly recommend it. Even though we had to sit in the third row (because we underestimated the movie going crowd in Battle Ground) it was still the best movie we've seen this summer (for whatever that's worth since the only other movies we've seen are Die Hard and Harry Potter).
- Going to an adults only birthday party last Saturday. Heels, painted toes, sassy dress (a dress! no worries about nursing a baby!), and sangria. Fun conversation and tasty food at Aqui Mexican Cafe made for a lovely evening.
- A morning at OMSI and an afternoon at IKEA with my siblings.
- A long phone conversation with a dear friend who lives in the Middle East.
- Receiving back issues of Martha Stewart Kids from my MIL.
- Meeting with an architect about designing our dream home (in light of the events from the past week this seems like an impossibility now, but it was nice at the time).
- Storytime at the library. Miss Connie and Miss Karen are the best librarians EVER. Love them.
- Getting my hair cut short. Not super short, but at least four inches off. Never underestimate the power of a new haircut.
But before I cut my hair, we had family pictures taken:
No matter how stressed, how poor, how saddened and disappointed I get, at the end of the day I have my family. And that's the nicest thing of all.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Week 158: Continuing to work at it
Ten years ago I was addressing envelopes for our wedding. My mind was filled with decisions about flowers and reception music. I was paying the first month's rent for the apartment we would be moving into that August when we returned from our honeymoon in Maine. Both of us were neck deep in pre-marriage counseling, but hardly paying a bit of attention to any of it.
Fast forward ten years.
I have a stack of envelopes on the counter, but they aren't mailed because I have to get new 41 cent stamps. My mind is filled with decisions about bill paying and which toys to keep out for Sydney to play with. I have cupboards filled with babyfood and rice cereal since we started Jules on solids yesterday. The countertop has papers highlighting our last Well Baby check where we learned that we have a nicely proportionate baby who is in the 75th percentile for everything (16 1/2 pounds of pure love).
My life is night and day different from where it was ten years ago. But some things are the same. I'm still in love with Jason. And marriage counseling?
Actually, yes.
Not because of any problems. (Relax, Mom and Dad.) Just because we're still committed to making our marriage the best it can possibly be, realizing that everything requires constant work, especially a marriage that now involves two kids.
I confess I wouldn't have tried an online marriage counseling program were it not for the offer from Parent Bloggers Network. When they sent me an email asking if I was interested, my initial thought was, "We don't need marriage counseling. We don't have issues that warrant that kind of service." I grew up in a culture that believed marriage counseling was only for marriages that were struggling, not marriages that were healthy. Why work on fixing something if you knew you were in it for the long haul? Then I thought about this a little more and decided that this kind of thinking made absolutely no sense. In fact, it was probably all based on the fear of gossip that tends to run rampant in church circles: "Psst...did you hear? Jason and Stephanie are in counseling," followed by sad shaking of heads.
Good grief. Let's break this notion of only struggling marriages need counseling right now. Even strong marriages can always get stronger. The question was: Would this online service be helpful to people who already had a strong, solid relationship, or was it just for couples on the brink of ruin?
Well, as Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott say: "eHarmony marriage is not about work. It's about about discovering the simple skills that build a better marriage, and a better life."
Maybe you're thinking, eHarmony? Isn't that that online dating program? Yes it is. But they also have an online marriage program that believe or it not isn't totally crazy. In fact, I kind of like it. A lot. The set-up is that you and your spouse separately take this questionnaire that asks about every facet of your life. You answer questions about your perceptions, your ideas, your religious, family, work, mental, spiritual, political opinions. It's very thorough.
After Jason and I did it we discovered two things on our own right off the bat. First, we have a lot of good things going for us. When Jason was finished with the questions, he gave me a big hug and said, "I'm so happy with our marriage." Because when you're answering questions like, "I trust my spouse," "I feel my spouse is committed to our relationship," and "I don't think my spouse is manipulative," you are reminded that you have a good thing going on. The second thing we learned is that I am more precise in answering questions. I made sure that when I strongly agreed/disagreed with a statement my little answer arrow was all on one side or another. Jason played it a little more fast and loose, with his answer arrow in the general ballpark. Not a big deal except later on when we were reading the marriage wellness articles together, there were suggestions about Jason being more accepting of me not bringing in the money for the family. If there's one thing I am sure of it's that he doesn't wish I was bringing in more money. Well, maybe he does wish that my existing job paid better, but not that I was working harder at it.
What eHarmony Marriage provides is a Marriage Wellness plan that is tailored to your needs based on the questionnaire. It gives you videos and exercises to do together, and it gives articles that you can read separately. Truthfully, I probably spent more time reading the articles than Jason did, but that was largely because I have more issues than he does (that is, personal issues, not issues with him). However, we did watch the videos together and went through the discussion exercises.
Even though I never would have thought online counseling would have been helpful for us, what the program did for us was get us talking about the issues we already knew we had. We have a very uncomplicated relationship, one without any cracks in the foundation or questions of our future. Nevertheless, there are areas that we can work on. For instance, having a baby can sometimes put a damper on your love life. At least it did for us. Something about being exhausted and having a baby chomping at the lady bits makes me feel very unattractive. After going through the eHarmony videos regarding this area, we are now talking about how to strengthen this area and what sort of steps we can take to improve this part of our marriage. I think the videos are my favorite part because they are so well done, and the segments with Dr. Neil Clark Warren are really great. He has such an engaging, unpretentious style of speaking. His marriage advice was helpful and lined up with our beliefs.
Probably one of the best things about the program was that we were actually able to do it. Had it been something that required us to get out of the house without the kids, we wouldn't have done it. The cost of actual counseling combined with the cost of babysitting would have made it financially impossible for us. Heck, if we had extra money and time floating around we'd be doing date nights instead of spending our evenings folding laundry, which is what we did last night. Even though eHarmony Marriage isn't a free program, it's reasonably priced. I couldn't find the actual price figures, but I did see them once (after I did the questionnaire) and it was in the double digits. Probably cheaper than an evening of dinner, movie, dessert and babysitting. And for some people, going through the counseling program might just insure a future of dinners, movies, desserts and babysitting. (UPDATE: It's $49.95 for a month's access to all the videos and personalized advice. They suggest doing the program over the course of three months, which is discounted to $39.95/month if you sign up for three months. Either way, a month's subscription is cheaper than an evening out.)
So, my overall estimation of the program? I think it's a good thing. I don't think I would have spent money on it without a recommendation from someone I knew personally because I would have been skeptical about the actual content of the counseling. However, now that I've done it I'm really glad I did. We still have a few articles and videos left to watch, and I'm looking forward to seeing what else I can discover that will make our marriage even better. In short, I think the counsel is wise and the effort is worth it. I would definitely recommend it to my friends and family.
Ten years ago we were in pre-marriage counseling, listening but not really listening because...well, because we were in love and no one was going to keep us from getting married.
Today, we're getting marriage counseling, and we're listening, really listening because...well, because we're in love and nothing is going to keep us from staying that way.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
From the weekend
Whether or not we get sunshine on Memorial Day Weekend is a bit of a toss-up in these parts. Last year? Not so good. This year? We turned on the AC in our house (oh sweet AC, how I love thee). It was a good weekend for nice weather since we had an outdoor wedding to go to on Saturday. Actually, we missed the ceremony for the wedding since our car broke down, but after many many tears and further pleading with the mechanic, we were able to get it fixed and made it to Jaime and Jeremy's reception in Brownsville. It was lovely and wonderful.
Other than the wedding, it was a nice relaxing weekend around here with the added bonus of having Jason's parents visit. Since my parents have farm-ish things to do like dogs to feed and grass to mow and bbq ribs to eat and parties to throw that don't include their eldest daughter, they can't often do overnight trips to our house. We therefore more than regularly invite Jason's parents down to visit us since they don't have any of the aforementioned things going on, except for a dog to feed, and he's just an old blind chihuahua so he's really more like a gerbil than a dog. Furthermore, Jason's brother lives in Rhode Island and has no plans to ever return to the mighty Northwest, even though he hates all the East Coast beers, so we are The Family.
We didn't veer too far off the traditional path, and spent the weekend hanging around outside, eating burgers.
Jason manned the grill, fixing us all some tasty burgers that included pineapple and cheddar cheese. Oh yeah, that's how we do it around here. (All you burger lovers ought to read Mopsy's description of burgers, so deliciously written that we were compelled to go out to Red Robin for Sydney's birthday dinner.)
While I was off in the kitchen fixing pasta salad and all-things-that-must-accompany-burgers, the grandparents volunteered to play with the grandkids. Holding Jules is a rough job, but somebody has to do it.
I could tell she really wanted to sink that tooth into a burger, but Sydney wouldn't share. And neither would I.
The entertainment of the afternoon was bubbles and hopscotch. Oh, the magical wonders of tiny plastic wands and sidewalk chalk.
The broom in hand is to sweep up chalk since sometimes the cleaning is all part of the playing.
That's my little three year old. Goodness gracious we love her so. We celebrated her birthday yesterday with a picnic lunch outside, a trip to Red Robin for the requested "fries and hotdog on a stick" (although Jason and I stuck to burgers) as well as a side order of birthday singing with ice cream sundae. There was also a lollypop from Dutch Brothers, and a trip to the library where she was serenaded with another round of Happy Birthday. Once I finish my homework I'll have something to write for my sweet curly headed girl. There's so much to say.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Welcome Home
It's been almost a year in the making.
Five months without their own kitchen.
Three months of intense remodeling.
New old wood floors, new windows, new kitchen, new paint, new countertops, new bathrooms, new life in an old house.
New house for a young family. They moved in last weekend. They did it.
My brother's family has finally moved in to the old farmhouse. Sarah has before and after pictures posted, although it only scratches the surface of what the house really looks like.
Would you all go over and give her a big old congratulations? Even if you're not a regular commenter (here or there), she could use a blogging pat on the back for a job well done. I'm so proud of her and my brother for all the work they've done. And I'm so happy they've found their home on the Family Farm.
Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble; there's no place like home.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Creature Bug
I'm Stephanie, full-time mom and wife, part-time English professor and Photoshop addict. My amazing husband, three beautiful girls and I live on the Family Farm, a community that's been growing families for five generations.- A Dozen Things About Me
Family Bugs
Parenting Bugs
Clever Bugs
Creative Bugs
Where I Flutter
Where I Wander
- Get this widget at roytanck.com
Categories
- Adelynn
- Being Aware
- Books
- Building the House
- Crafty
- Current Affairs
- Daily Life
- Disney
- Dreams
- Education
- Extended Family
- Family Farm
- Favorite Things
- Film
- Food
- Food and Drink
- For Fun
- Games
- Gluten Free
- Grandma
- Grrs & Grumbles
- Happily Ever After
- Health
- Holidays
- Home Movies
- Home Sweet Home
- Irish
- Joys
- Jules
- Loss
- Me & My Shadow
- Milestones
- Music
- Nature
- Our Oregon
- Our Washington
- Parenting
- PhD
- Pictures
- Playtime
- Poetry
- Prayer
- Pregnancy
- Projects
- Quick Takes
- Religion
- Reviews
- Saturday Story
- School
- Silly Surveys
- Sports
- Sydney
- Teaching
- Television
- Theatre
- Toys
- Travel
- Vote!
- Web/Tech
- Writing
Recent Comments